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Bonds Are a 'Safe' Investment: A Big Lie Gets Even BiggerSo Time Warner opened this morning at 16.93, and this afternoon it closed at 17.36, a 2.78 % gain.
2.78%. That was the change today. Not bad. Not good.
What does 2.78% gain mean, really?
Well, let's think about what a 2.78 % gain would have meant at certain moments in history.
- 1066 was the year of the Norman Conquest of England. A 2.78% gain would have meant the Normans invaded in June of 1095.
- In 1517, Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the Wittberg Cathedral. A 2.78% gain would have resulted in 97.6 Theses nailed to the door of the Wittberg Cathedral.
- Abraham Lincoln began the Gettysburg Address with the famous words, "Four score and seven years ago." (This is apparently how you say the number 87 if you are a president in the nineteenth century.) A 2.78% gain would have forced him to begin the Gettysburg Address, "Four score and 7.19 years ago."
- In 1988, the Scottish band The Proclaimers had an enormous hit with the single "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)". A 2.78% gain would have forced The Proclaimers to re-name that song "I'm Gonna Be (513.9 Miles)".
- Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Pitt, and Morgan Freeman all starred in the
1995 thriller Seven. A 2.78% gain would have forced the movie to be called Seven-Point-One-Nine.
That, dear readers, is what a gain of 2.78% means.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
4-27-2006 @ 9:28PM
Stolen Aboveground said...
If a 2.78% gain is neither good nor bad, then shouldn't your examples uphold that truth? Your exmaples are all 'good.' Well, except the Proclaimers song change... that would just be weird.
And since when is a gain not good?
4-27-2006 @ 10:37PM
Anne Metz said...
Well, Stolen Aboveground, that really depends upon what the meaning of 'is' is....
4-28-2006 @ 3:44AM
tyler said...
What sorta point even being made here? For godsake, a 2.78% return is good, thats a 695% annual return if it keeps at this rate (I figured 250 days of trading). Its also half the risk free rate of 5% percent the fed is paying. The only thing 2.78% isn't, is a list of stupid jokes.
4-28-2006 @ 8:48AM
Jay Mullen said...
So... what was the motivator fo the Gain? How did this gain compare to recent gains? I.e. is this significant movement for TWX? :) Let us know.
4-28-2006 @ 8:52AM
JDaggitt said...
2.78% (compounded) should be the amount deducted from Parson's paycheck each week until he gets this stock to move.
Is anybody else tired of Parson's talking about world-class assets and world-class management team, yet negative results year on year for TWX?
Perhaps if Parson's actually managed the assets and team rather than letting each division operate as its own fiefdom the company would find some synergies across the organization.
It is interesting to see how NBC promotes a full range of products from the GE family, but TWX can't figure out how to make Road Runner and AOL come together.
4-28-2006 @ 10:14AM
K Brown said...
Exercise your rights in the share holder meeting and withhold your vote for Parsons.
4-28-2006 @ 10:51AM
Anne Metz said...
Okay, okay.
I don't want to be a hater. 2.78% is a pretty good gain for a stock that has largely flat-lined for the last seven months. From what I can tell, the gain was due, in part, to the announcement of the new quarterly dividend.
And as for tyler's comment, all I can say is, if your sense of humor was say, 2.78% better, you might have found my "stupid jokes" 2.78% funnier.
4-28-2006 @ 12:18PM
brendan adrian said...
Really dumb way to begin a board about a stock.
TWX woke up because CMCSA came to life. That's it. Earnings next week. Could go up on spec and get a pop if news is good. But back to torpor if news is flat. Only support till now has been Icahn, buyback, and the Google billion for 5% of AOL.