I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter that my wife and I are considering sending to private school. The cost is pretty heavy and continues to go up as she gets older- to the tune of $10,000 / year and the nickle and dime items the parents are required to purchase. I look at it this way, if I can give my child a better life than I was able to afford I'm going to do it. Why else do I work as I do if it weren't to give her as much of the world and up front advantages as possible. Sure it may be a high cost, but considering what it could cost my child by not sending her to private school, now that is the real motivator. I have not seen any real studies performed, but I would be willing to wager a years tuition that the drug, drinking and pregnancy rate are much lower in private schools than that of their public counter part. My child deserves the best her parents can afford to give her, even if that means for us not to have the newest TV each year.

Daer Mike V.

We sent our daughters to private Lutheran schools K-12. They did get a good education ( both got academic scholarships to college) but dont think the drinking and drugs are not there !. If anything there is more because the majority of the kids are upper middle class and have the cash and means to get what they want .

Any money you save which is earmarked for college will be taken before your child gets a penny of college financial aid. If you are struggling to pay private school tuition, you will likely qualify for some amount of financial aid, so don't save in the name of your child -- put it into your IRA or pay down your mortgage -- those don't count as money available to pay college tuition in the financial aid calculations.

The discipline of living below your means that was imposed by those private school tuition bills will enable you to continue to pay tuition for your kids once they are in college. We have three children in college, but only two count because one is married and in grad school. Still, what we have to pay is only about 40% more than we paid when they were in private high schools.

No, we didn't save a penny, except in our house and IRAs. Yes, we are now going into debt a little. Yes, we will have to delay retirement.

Oh, and make them get summer jobs. Our two also work a little during the school year (they get to deside how much based upon their school workload -- one sometimes works as much as 20 hours in the college library, the other works 10 hours a week as a waitress.

14 years of elite independent schools for each of three kids and a bitter divorce between broke parents and here's the verdict from my side: do it! The payoff is two young women and a young man (still a sophomore in secondardy school - the girls are at excellent, non-ivy colleges with buckets of scholarships and loans) who are marked by their capability, character and commitment to principles. Yes, it will take years for me to recover financially; so what's wrong with a little motivation at age sixty? What's great is seeing that for all the mis-steps, our sheltered, nurtured offspring are admirable people. I'm not arguing that independent schools are the only track; it fit with the overall values of our family. I have my regrets, the childrens' superb educational experiences (single sex btw)are not among them.

Good luck.

First, my wife and I were not wealthy. For most of our child years our joint income exceeded the social security max by an average of 20M. We could have elected to use private schools, but instead went with inner-city publics. They went to magnet schools for junior high and high school.

The money we saved by doing that has accumulated to about one million dollars. My son is a sophomore at the University of Texas and my daughter will start college next year.

I will say this. There is far more drug use and rebellion among our friend's kids' private-school kids than my children, neither of whom used drugs. The college boy has tried alcohol at school, but doesn't drink now. He's premed and doing great. My daughter is a serious artist and seldom does anything other than work on her artwork for upcoming shows. They're both great kids. Most kids in inner-city schools can't afford drugs, and most kids in inner-city magnets are pretty serious about having a future. It rubbed off on my kids.

We didn't start out thinking our kids should go to private schools, but had a bad experience with a "good" public school where we had to really push to get our son the help he needed and the school psychologist responsible for testing to qualify him for extra help seemed most capable at manipulating statistics to save the district money. The difference between our two experiences-- at the private school we are treated as clients and customers and our opinions are sought out, encouraged and acted on. At the public school the staff acted like they were doing us a favor to schedule a meeting. Maybe sometimes you get what you pay for. In considering the financial cost, you could also look at the future earning power of your student. Our experience tells us that our older son who spent the most time in public schools is negative, discouraged and doesn't believe he can succeed. He will struggle to get into college, much less get scholarships. Our younger son who has spent the most time in a small, nurturing private school loves to learn, speaks well in front of a group, thinks his thoughts opinions are valuable and believes he can do most anything. Well worth the price for us.

Public schools vs Private? I have been teaching in an inner city magnet public high school for eight years. That magnet tag means very little to the bulk of our student body. There is no way I will ever let my daughter attend the school at which I teach. I will continue to scrimp and cut corners to afford her private school. Whoever said inner city kids don't have money for drugs is nuts! But that's not even the biggest problem. The biggest problem is the students who walk the halls that don't want to be there. They are there by court order either from their own PO's or because of mimimum age schooling laws. Yes, there are also many in school because that is where the drug clientele is accessible. They wander the halls littering and defacing the school. And on those occasions when they make it to class, they are disruptive and unmotivated, draining energy that should be spent on the few students who want to take advantage of the education. There are those shining lights that make any teachers day.
So for me, the question is easy. When laws are changed to allow schools to throw out the undesirable element and put them into work camps until they are ready to appreciate an education, I will discontinue to shell out $1000 a month on a private education.

We have tried both public and private education for our 4 kids and my conclusion: private is the better choice in the long run. Yes, we struggle to pay for college now, but the kids are invested in their education with jobs and loans to help out. The sacrifices have been so worth it. But don't ever do it to escape drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity...those problems are rampant everywhere. We sought out a vigorous academic curriculum in a school that supported our values. We have seen the results and would do it again.

When a teacher looks for job, at least in my area, they go for the public schools first. If they can't get a job with the state then, and only then, will they settle for a private school position. But only until a public school position opens up. The public schools are where the money and benefits are...not to mention the custodians, lunch ladies, para-pros and special ed classes(which all make a teachers life a lot easier) So where are the best teachers working? That's a no brainer.

Where do the best teachers teach? It is most definitely NOT a no-brainer, if your conclusion is that they are all at public schools. I agree that there are many high quality educators at public schools, but I have over twenty years experience teaching and administrating at a small private high school, and the quality of teachers there is outstanding. The teachers who work there are dedicated, passionate individuals who are motivated by far more than money and "perks" to do there jobs. They are sacrificial, devoted men and women who are knowledgeable in their subjects and great with students. Are there ever any "klunkers"? Sure. But they don't last very long. It just isn't worth it too them. I have sent both my children through private Christian education and my son is now a freshmen at a private college on a full ride scholarship for academics and athletics. Yes, private schools will have their share of students who struggle with the same temptations as public school kids. One difference in the smaller private setting is the higher level of accountability which helps to expose some of these problems so that the parents and child can deal with them. I for one am fully supportive of school choice--and am glad that my husband and I made a choice to give our children a private school education.

Our daughter attended a private school from K-12. She's now doing very well in a private university. Our son is a sophmore this year in the same private school his sister attended. We are not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. Don't think it wasn't tough sometimes to make those tuition payments, particulary with two kids in Upper School. We had to juggle and do without but it's something we believe in and one way or the other, we are determined to see it through. Just so you know, the kid's grandparents help out too... but that's not the reason we made it this far. We both work and live well below our means and we just take it one year at a time. i highly recommend a private education if there is ANY way at all for you to swing it. Try it, you'll like it, and your kids will LOVE it. I can't remember how many parents took thier kids out of our school and put them into public schools for financial reasons, only to re-enroll them again after a year or two. They all said that they saw a big difference in thier children and just had to get them back into private school whatever it took. Check with the school you are considering about tuition payment plans, "gifts in kind", scholarships and whatever else they offer. If you don't like what you hear, check with another private school. I can't say enough good things about a private education. It's worth whatever it takes IMHO. I intend to find a way to send my grandkids to private school as well if i have to pay for it myself! Good luck!

I went to a private school my entire education, and do not regret it. However, there are many things I wish had gone differently. I found out the day that I moved into the dorm at my university that I was on my own for college payments because my parents had spent what they had put aside for my tuition, hoping that I would get several scholarships. The private school I went to had a lot of political problems and sometimes I heard that the academics were not as challenging as other schools (this differed according to the person and the school). My brother has chosen to go to public school for his junior and senior year in high school, and I have no problem with it. He will have more opportunities in terms of classes available, extracurriculars, and athletics (he's an avid swimmer).
And to reiterate what everyone else has said: drugs, sex, and alcohol are everywhere. I never experienced that side of it, and became aware of it just before I graduated, but this was reality for many of my classmates.

I am currently in college right now. I went to a public school from kindergarden to senior year. I loved it. My parents are paying for my college and I also have an older brother that just graduated from college and a sister that is in college now. My dad's goal is to get all of us through college without taking a loan out. He's got one child through already. We have jobs during the summer and we pay however much we can. There are many great public schools. For high school my school wasn't in the greatest neighborhood and everyone called it ghetto but I still got a great education. There is a lot of drugs or alcohol in ever school but it just depends on who you hand around with. I know private schools in my area that a lot of drugs and drinking problems. I think you should start saving money for college because going to a public schools you still have other costs you will run into (as you read in the 5 annoying costs). It would be great when I graduate college I won't have anything to pay back and just look for a teaching position (in a public school) and start making money and find somewhere to live.

There is no easy answer to this - I think a lot depends on where you live. Never underestimate the power of parents to impact the success of the child. Parents are far more important than any teacher, school psychologist or school system in insuring success of the child. for blogger Mike V. "spend half as much money on your child and spend twice as much time." (don't remember the name of whom I am quoting.)

I am also a college student who is a graduate of the public education system. I attended public schools from kindergarten until my senior year, and I got a better education at my high school than most of the kids in the private schools in my area. I currently go to one of the top twenty universities in the country and am pulling As and Bs, and I credit my public education for that. Quite honestly, it all depends on the school itself that you are sending your child to - not whether it is public or private. There's a bias that private ones are automatically better than public, but that is generally untrue: the public high school in my town was far better than both of the private schools, with superior teachers, classes, and facilities. If there is a good public school in the area, send your kids to it! When it comes time for college, you'll be glad to have the extra money around...I know my parents are.

Ok I have been to both private schools and public schools, and I believe the reason that I survived both is because my parents taught me how to pick and choose my friends. I believe that parents need to stop blaming the public education system because education starts at home. My mother made sure that she taught me that the type of crowd I hung around was very important. When I was in private school I saw and experienced more than I could have ever imagined. I also felt a sense of not being good enough because my parents chose not to drive a bentley and they chose not to dress me in CoCo Chanel. Going to public school probably saved me and gave me liberation from becoming another dumb rich girl like Jessica Simpson or Paris Hilton. Even though there were kids who did not want to be in my public school they showed me who I did not want to become. They helped to make me who I am today, and I greatly thank my parents for allowing me to be a proud and successful graduate of the public education system. Today I am in my 3 year of college and will be graduation with honors (a year early if I may add) from Cal State Northridge in the spring, and will be continuing to grad school in the fall. Parents you should really consider letting your children experience and decide their path rather than only exposing them to one side. There are problems with the public school system, but there are also problems within each and every family in America!

My dear Sara,
Your public education is showing. Grammar and punctuation was obviously left out of the curriculum. Unfortunately, grammar has been left out of most public school educations because it is boring. We all know it is the teacher's job to keep the students entertained in the classroom in order for the students to want to learn.

It's not only about the school, parents need to be involved too. I have three kids, they all go to public schools. one is in elementary and two are in Middle. they are excellent students, well behave. All the teachers and parents always compliments them for their grades and good manners. They are involve in every sport and any other school activities. But instead of me working 10 or more hours a day to pay for a private school and be away from my home. I'm involved with their lives. I volunteer at school in almost everything and my kids really enjoy me being there. my younger son was telling me that even his friends love when I'm there. After school I wait for them with a nice fresh lunch, helps with homework. or we enjoy an afternoon doing projects, I help them with everything and believe me their friends tell them how nice because they are by themself or with an older brother/sister who doesn't care. (I'm a stronger believer that a parent makes the difference) I went to a private school but my mom was there for me too, the same way I'm doing for my kids.(private or public ??? doesn't matter If you can be there).

My 2 girls started school at the local elementary that has a great reputation for academics. I realized that the kids that did well were the ones in GATE (advanced) programs. If your child is average (which apparently is shameful) then the education is not so great.
What I noticed at this school in a nice upscale neighborhood was that the parents were extremely pushy and therefore so were the kids. Everybody's child was "advanced" or "special" and needed to be in the super-duper excellerated class. They all seemed to have no manners and were brats!
I took the girls out of there and enrolled them in a private school that was not high end but reasonably priced. Values such as good manners, not yelling out in class, respect for teachers and others are very important and included in this school. I'm so happy to have them in a nurturing environment as well as having a good education.
Gwen

We have twins in 6th grade private Catholic school and have thus far been pleased with every aspect of their private school education/experience. Although we are used to paying tuition, the most expensive years are still ahead of us. We hope to look back when we are delaying our retirement and say, yes we did the right thing!