The other night I was chatting up one of my friends, and mentioned that I'd be waiting for my bonus to decide how much I'd spend on a replacement camera. "The problem is," I said, "I have no idea about scale." I was thinking that, really, a bonus could be anything from 5% to 100% of your salary -- or more! The possibilties are endless.She laughed, and started telling me stories. She comes from the nonprofit world, where ... well, let's just say that they aren't as generous as the i-bankers. One year she was making $36,000, and somehow she knew her Christmas bonus would be a percentage of her salary. She was realistic, hoping for maybe 5%! That would be nice. She kept waiting for the check to arrive, and one day casually mentioned it to her husband.
"Oh, I was wondering what that deposit for $36 was!" he said, laughing. 0.1%, to be exact.
But that wasn't the worst of it. A friend of hers was working for the Red Cross, and had set herself a monstrous goal for new donors. No one had ever achieved such a goal, but she thought she could do it, and she did! She and a co-worker were called before the board.
"We're really, really amazed at your achievement," they said. There were envelopes in their hands. She started thinking about what might be in them. Maybe $100! Or, even $200. So cool.
"We're going to give you something to thank you for your hard work," the board member said. And handed her the envelope.
Inside was a coupon.
For a small ice cream cone. She never used it, and a year later, her wallet -- with the coupon inside -- was stolen.
I feel for those working in the non-profit world. In many industries, bonuses aren't so much bonuses as they are tokens. And that really ruins the whole point. In my first job in investment banking, I was making a salary of $27,000 a year. That was a lot to me, I had just graduated from college and it seemed like a huge amount. I could pay my rent and buy clothes! What could be better?
My boss, realizing my innocence, teased me, telling me maybe I'd get $500 ... and a turkey. I knew the turkey was a joke, but had no idea about the $500. My stretch goal was $2000, but I'd decided to expect $1000. That way I wouldn't be disappointed. After all, I'd only been working since June.
When the day of the bonus talk came, I almost fell off my chair. I'd been given $15,000 -- over 100% of my salary. My face got hot and I gulped.
"Thank you?" I said. And never asked about the turkey.
It's always hard going into a new environment where the scale is a mystery. You don't want to get your hopes up, but then again, you'd like to know a little about the scope of your potential earnings. After all, there's Christmas coming...
What are you expecting this year for a bonus? And what crazy bonus stories do you have to tell?
Inside was a coupon.
For a small ice cream cone. She never used it, and a year later, her wallet -- with the coupon inside -- was stolen.
I feel for those working in the non-profit world. In many industries, bonuses aren't so much bonuses as they are tokens. And that really ruins the whole point. In my first job in investment banking, I was making a salary of $27,000 a year. That was a lot to me, I had just graduated from college and it seemed like a huge amount. I could pay my rent and buy clothes! What could be better?
My boss, realizing my innocence, teased me, telling me maybe I'd get $500 ... and a turkey. I knew the turkey was a joke, but had no idea about the $500. My stretch goal was $2000, but I'd decided to expect $1000. That way I wouldn't be disappointed. After all, I'd only been working since June.
When the day of the bonus talk came, I almost fell off my chair. I'd been given $15,000 -- over 100% of my salary. My face got hot and I gulped.
"Thank you?" I said. And never asked about the turkey.
It's always hard going into a new environment where the scale is a mystery. You don't want to get your hopes up, but then again, you'd like to know a little about the scope of your potential earnings. After all, there's Christmas coming...
What are you expecting this year for a bonus? And what crazy bonus stories do you have to tell?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
12-04-2006 @ 11:41AM
Jack said...
Our company Christmaas bonus is simple. Each employee gets $20 for each year they have been with the company and we receive the bonuses on Dec 24th. However it has to be a full year. We had a marketing person and she started work on Jan 2. When Christmas camearound she didnt get the bnous because she had not been with us a full year. The bonus structure has been in place since 1990. It gets better. The 401K contribution is $150. Thats not per paycheck. Not once a month. Thats $150 per year ! Now your probably thinking that perhaps the company is doing poorly. Guess again. The CEOs bonus was $360,000and the VPs bonus was $125,000.