I remember how innocent I was, long before I was a parent. Do you remember that time? When you were young, perhaps it was the 80s, or the early 90s. You imagined bringing a baby into your home one day, certainly, it was far off in the future but the image was clear, if a bit soft-focused around the edges: all was fuzzy, wuzzy, warm, soft, and gentle. If you imagined your home with a kitchen, in fact, the knives were all tucked safely away in a hand-oiled maple block somewhere, way, way back on the counter.
[Big sound of brakes squeaking, wheels skidding, cars smashing into walls, screams...]
And then, I became a parent in the new millennium. And my world was filled with the most fearsome, warlike cutting implements. Industrial-strength scissors that came apart at the hinge so you could sharpen them daily. Hunting knives with a whetting stone, glistening next to the sink (where I keep my gentle organic hand soap). A typical day in my first child's infancy might find my knuckles raw, my fingers calloused, battle wounds all over my fingers.I'd been faced with my children's toy packaging.
While some news reports indicate that today's packaging is tough in order to prevent thieves, I'd hate to know which thieves are interested in the two-inch-long plastic hammer that comes with the $8.99 "James and the Fallen Tree" die-cast train set. I'd also love to have a little chat with Tyco and show them the shallow cut, nearly as long as the hammer, I got on my middle finger while trying to untangle James' right wheels from their metal-reinforced twisty ties. I have little boys so I don't have to deal much with packaging on Mattel, Inc. (NYSE:MAT)'s Barbie dolls or any of their friends, but I admit to having purchased a "Working Girl" Barbie just for myself. Her little plastic laptop, the one with the cheery pie chart ever-presented on the screen? Ultra secure, its one-inch square self-held to the box with two six-inch-long twistie ties.
When Everett, my four-year-old, was a baby, I used to buy him lots of brand-new, fresh-from-Target Corporation (NYSE:TGT) toys. Because the CPSC guards young children very carefully, always watching for choking hazards or little pieces of bright plastic or sparkly cord that might be ripped off and swallowed, these toys were a paragon of safety.
Not so the scene when I tried to remove them from their hard-plastic casing. I'm pretty sure the people in the recycling truck were taking the shards of plastic left behind directly to the nuclear fallout shelter plant, you know, to melt down and build a structure worthy of Blade Runner.
And I'm not the only one, oh no, not for a minute. Estimates are that 6,000 people go to the emergency room every year after tussling with packaging, on toys, on tools, on home appliances. Every person I know complains of their struggles to get into packaging. And these are, by and large, not expensive items. These are typically items ranging from $3.00 to about $50.00 -- the more expensive stuff comes in easy-to-open boxes.
It's so not about thwarting thieves. And if it is? Come on people. Is your biggest economic concern really whether or not some child is going to steal the littlest plastic zebra from the $3.99 safari collection?
No, this is about control. The manufacturers want to control how their products are displayed. And who can blame them? I'm sure several very smart and well-coifed people are paid $85,000 a year to decide at exactly what angle Barbie's rubber briefcase is going to protrude from the box, and where it will be in relationship to the tiny copy of Working Woman magazine.
But. Oh my god. If you have ever been sitting near a two year old, a sweet little innocent child with soft skin and soft blonde curls and wearing his sweet organic cotton Christmas pjs, and saw how eager he was to open his newest toy, jumping all over you, hugging and kissing, and then, you with first the scissors, and then, discarding them and going straight to the kitchen and getting your sharpest, biggest, serrated knife, and still the two year old is jumping up and down just inches from this dangerous implement and you're thinking I really made sure to get the toys that were developmentally appropriate and proven safe for toddlers but how the g#% d#@^ $^@@^!&*@ am I supposed to open them without killing us both!?!?
Well, then, you too have had wrap rage.
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
12-07-2006 @ 7:40PM
rob said...
Sop stealing, and then the packages don't have to be so open-proof.
12-07-2006 @ 8:28PM
Jacqueline said...
Girl, you are so damn right. You said it all. Sometimes several adults are trying to open these things. It's just pandemonium. You need a jack hammer and a chain saw to open some of this stuff and then the endless untwisting of the ties (although I've recycled them on numerous occasions)I have a girl. We have the Barbie package wars on a regular so I know you understand my pain and I'm not just talking about from the lacerations. It's getting so I don't want to buy anything I see in that industrial/military strength plastic. If only they were this cautious with our food products or medication.
12-07-2006 @ 7:50PM
Ginny said...
And what about the waste? The cost? the ENVIRONMENT?
12-07-2006 @ 8:03PM
Rick said...
What needs to happen is a nice class action LAWSUITE by the ones injured while trying to open these assine packages. I can't believe in this sue happy world someone has not done this.
I can feel for the mfg. ( NOT ) trying to curb shoplifting... now they just take the whole package... but there has to be a better way.
my .02
Rick
12-08-2006 @ 3:04AM
Grant said...
Maybe we would be less inclined to rant and rave about the packaging if we truely understand WHY they are packed the way they are...... a failing of society to teach children ( who later become adults) that it is not right to steal. Companies have been backed into a corner where they have to make packaging indestructible to deter theft. Futher more, this packaging it added on to the price of what we buy. Maybe we should spend more time teaching our own not to steal and less time complaining on the internet. Companies will not stop packaging in such manners because we as a society have no manners to begin with.
12-07-2006 @ 8:37PM
Lynn McLaughlin said...
Has Jo Ann, Packaging Diva, lost her mind - or does she work for a packaging company? Safety? Security? Neither come close to explaining our collective experience with toy packaging. I nearly lost my little finger trying to get a Princess Barbie doll out of her "secure" packaging one Chritmas. After 20 minutes of cutting, twisting and exasperated pulling, her grandfather finally tore away the last of the lethal plastic to release a slightly disheveled Princess Barbie with knife cuts on the arms and legs - and handed her to our five year old granddaughter who by this time had completely lost interest. Is anybody listening - JO Ann?
12-07-2006 @ 10:17PM
Linda said...
There is a simple solution: get yourself (and your mother and anyone over the age of 8) one of those new WrapRager™ gadgets--It is fabulous for opening everything from cereal boxes to shrink wrapped bottles to clamshells and it's not metal so it can't cut clothes or fingers. Sigh...made my life a breeze!
12-08-2006 @ 12:13AM
Jimmy said...
DON'T BUY IT!!
It's simple! If you hate that packaging, don't buy it. One season of sales in the dumper, and toy manufacturers will beg consumers to buy their stuff. They'll jam toys in brown paper bags if that will help sell them. Look, if consumers reject the packaging, manufacturers WILL change it. It all about sales, people, the bottom line. Increased sales is what prompted manufacturers to use the current packaging (display) systems. You CAN use manufacturers' greed to your advantage IF you know how...
And the "know how" is your purchace. Put your money where your mouth is. If you don't like something, don't buy it.
12-08-2006 @ 2:59AM
Drewfus Maximus said...
Well, these are all very good points but I think that the insurance industry is concerned more with child safety than parent safety, essentially making products impossible to open without an adult being present. It's all about risk reduction. If anyone is to blame, it's the consumer for sueing everyone for everything that goes wrong in this country.
12-08-2006 @ 3:11AM
Miles Baron said...
This is my #1 pet peeve. I bought it (whatever "it" is), It's mine. I want to use it, but I still can't get into it. It's bad enough the instructions are usually lost to the fight of getting the package open, but unfortunately the product can be damamged also, not to mention the number of bandages I have used on cuts from the plastic when it bites back. My favorite "incident"... I needed a box cutter to open some packages I sent ahead to my hotel while on business travel. I bought one, at the corner store, but still had to find someone with a knife to borrow to open my box cutter to open my packages. Arrggghhh!!!!!!
12-08-2006 @ 3:46AM
anna ennis said...
Did you ever have problems opening crackers or MEAT/CHEESE STICKS while driving down the highway. Forget it. One cannot even open it while sitting in the car still. Now, I try NOT to buy those while I am in my car. Knives are not allow to sit in the car. Toys, are just as worse, I agreed with the parent or parents. Have you ever try to open up toys that the cats or dogs will use, that r wrap up in plastic? wE ARE LIVING IN A WORLD TODAY OF PLASTIC AND TIES. jUST THANK GOODNESS THAT OUR CARS OR TRUCKS DON'T COME WRAPPED UP. Merry Christmas 'n' Happy Holidays to all and gnite.
a senior parent. anna
1-19-2007 @ 12:27PM
Michele said...
I just blogged about this very topic and then did a search to see if I was alone. Thank goodness I'm not. Lots of people are having the same problem prying their children's toys loose from the indestructible packaging.It's awful!