When PFadvice.com asked a real-live burglar, "Where is the best place to hide money?" he replied, "a bank." Which should be the final word on the subject. But if you prefer to keep a certain amount of cash handy in case you need to, I don't know, drive to Florida all night wearing a diaper, you need to think like a burglar when choosing where to stash it in your home.Burglars, according to the interviewee, have two clear objectives: "1. To steal your money and valuables" and "2. To get out of the house as quickly as possible with these goods." So, while you don't want to leave cash in obvious places, an extremely complicated spot could be even worse. "If I can't find money and valuables in the normal places I usually find them," he says. "I would continue to tear the house apart until I found something."
He suggests, then, that you do leave money in obvious places -- cookie jar, drawer by the phone, etc. -- at an amount commensurate with your household. "If you are in an upscale community and only leave $100," he says. "I would assume there is more and keep looking."
His number one choice for a hiding place? A child's toy. For two reasons: (a) because parents don't trust kids with money and (b) because going through a child's toys could take hours.Therefore, If you're looking for a receptacle in which no burglar would dare stick his hand, I would go no further than an Easy Bake Oven.
B. Brandon Barker is the author of the novel Operation EMU











Reader Comments (Page 1 of 6)
2-07-2007 @ 4:57PM
sarah gilbert said...
I love this advice, especially if you take a look at my kids' room (http://www.flickr.com/photos/cafemama/377918111/ for evidence :). I also love the part about how you should leave money in an obvious place "in an amount commensurate with your home." Hmm... I guess that would be our mug of quarters! Maybe I could stash a couple of wrinkled-up dollar bills there, too ;)
2-15-2007 @ 7:16AM
C. M. H. said...
I don't think it would be a good idea to list your
favorite hidding places on this site. Future and
past burglurs will definitely read this for future
reference. The bank is the only fool proof method
of thwarting a burglar. Tools, firearms, and such
should definitely me marked with some identifiable
mark the only you and the police will know about
and placed on as hidden a place as possible for when these folks get caught. This mark should NOT
be a Social Security Number(SSN(! I repeat, the
identifying mark should NOT be your SSN or anyone
else's SSN. Marking is a sure gurantee for a conviction of those who have the item in their possesion. It may also help clear-up other burgluries in your neighborhood and other areas, as well.
2-15-2007 @ 7:50AM
Lisa said...
Like I'm going to take advise from the person who wants to rob me? I'd love to put a sign in from of my house that says something to the effect of "DON'T BOTHER ROBBING ME! ALL MY STUFF IS CHEAP AND FAKE!!"
2-15-2007 @ 7:19AM
john jonson said...
What you need to stash is a Glock in your waistband to kill these vermin when you catch them in your house.All burglars should be executed in the act.Never come home in a white zone,and walk into what could be your death scene.Stay in an orange zone, ready to go to red.These "people" will kill you for your small change,so be vigilent and train with your Glock.
2-15-2007 @ 8:02AM
jen ragen said...
When i was robbed, the detectives told me he wished everyone had the same silver boxes i had. (set of two from idea, photo sizes boxes in a shiny smooth silver material) because apparently finger prints showed up PERFECT. I only had pictures in mine but they led to the identification and eventually arrest of Sammy T, the scumbag who decided to burglarize my apartment.
2-15-2007 @ 10:21AM
Doctor Bob said...
Banks? Screw banks! Bill collectors have learned how to find your money in banks and attach it and seize it without your knowledge! Your first clue that something is wrong is when your checks start bouncing and you discover that you have a zero balance in your bank. A week later you get a letter from the bank explaining that your account was seized by the Acme Bill Collection Company. D*mn! Since I now keep my money at home in cash, I've learned that a loose floorboard under a carpet in a back bedroom is a decent place to hide money. So is inside a heating duct, preferably high up on a wall. No burglar is going to start disassembling your heating ducts! Up in the rafters of the garage is a great place, too. Or build a hidden compartment in a garage wall, and then keep a few dirty old spare tires over the hidden opening. No burglar is going to mess around with moving those old tires! I know from experience these places work well.
2-15-2007 @ 8:23AM
judy said...
I,ll tell you one thing- i lived in a suburb of nyc for 37 yrs. and never locked the doors- NO PROBLEM.Moved to a rural town in western, mass. 10+ yrs. ago- nothing BUT trouble. The police here are disinterested to say the least.NYC cops apparently are the finest! So much for dumping on "The City". I say welcome to the wild West!
2-15-2007 @ 10:26AM
susan said...
Why keep money in your house. With ATM's on every corner, money is available 24/7
2-15-2007 @ 8:50AM
ed said...
When will AOL start writing about news stories that arent retarded? AOL is a joke.
2-15-2007 @ 9:35AM
Dale said...
The best place to hide money or ANY valuables is right next to your Rottweiller's food bowl.
2-16-2007 @ 9:41AM
Tom Holzel said...
An NRA decal is also a good deterrant. In jailhouse interviews, the primary thing burglers said was not that getting the money was the most important thing, but not getting shot.
2-16-2007 @ 7:51PM
Teresa said...
I live in an upscale neighborhood, but the burgular might want to re-think his concepts...we, as most of our neighbors are "HOUSE BROKE!!!"
2-15-2007 @ 9:34AM
Cynthia H. said...
With 3 messy teenagers in my house, I don't think anybody will rob me. As soon as the burglars walk in the door, they will probably look around and think "Too late. They've just been robbed." If they do decide to stay and look around for money, they'll never find any...my kids are always asking for it.
2-15-2007 @ 10:07AM
Penny said...
I learned from my great aunt 30 years ago... always leave some cash laying in an obvious spot where you can see it as you enter your home, the credenza in the foyer perhaps. A crook will snag the cash, and you can immediaitely spot that someone has been in your home (and may still be lurking there). If the money is missing, leave and call the police. Let them investigate and make sure the scene is clear. No amount of money is worth getting hurt over! And invest in an alarm system that will also make your outside lights flash off and on - and let your neighbors know to call the authorities if they see them flashing. It definately helps to get to know your neighbors, determine who you trust, and them look out for each other. As for the advice concerning the glock - sure, if you know you CAN pull the trigger without delay. Many people think a gun will scare someone off, mostly because it would scare them personally. A criminal doesn't think this way and if you don't think you could kill someone, you shouldn't have the gun.
2-15-2007 @ 9:41AM
johnny said...
I agree with John. I sleep with a loaded Glock .45 beside my bed. Take my little bit of money if you want, but don't mess with me or my kid.
2-15-2007 @ 10:41AM
raidermike said...
what is it with everybody on here and glocks. desert eagle makes the best handguns you can get.
2-15-2007 @ 9:52AM
steve said...
The glock idea is the best. Two are better.
If you are carrying it,, they can't take it from the home.
2-15-2007 @ 9:55AM
Karen Kelly said...
Anyone who enters my home illegally must be prepared to meet their maker. I live in Western, Mass. myself, and don't have time to wait for the "authorities" to show up, so if you think a few measley bucks is worth your thieving life, then come on in buddy!
2-15-2007 @ 11:48AM
Chad said...
I've noticed a lot of people seem in favor of guns, but nobody has mentioned the effectiveness of hand-held weapons as well. A well-aimed throwing knife and a staff or sword have proved quite effective in the instances where I have been robbed...granted there was that one lawsuit against me for excessive force, but the judge sided with me simply because it had been 3 am and it was MY house that was broken into.
2-15-2007 @ 2:43PM
evan said...
A gun is possibly the worst thing you could buy to prevent burglar problems. By purchasing a handgun or a shotgun you have a better chance of you or your loved ones being injured or killed than you do of thwarting a burlary. Just consider this, there is an off chance that a burglar will get in your home. There is an off chance that you will alert enough in the middle of the night to correctly and intelligently use your weapon. But there is a great chance that when you are not home, that weapon is going to land in the hands of someone else; a burglar who hits your home when you are not there, or one of your kids who thinks it's cool to play with macho daddy's toy. Here's an idea if you are really worried about protecting your valuables (family). Invest in an alarm system which incorporates a security system along with fire and carbon monoxide detection systems. And if you still need some defense until the cops show up add a steel door and reinforced steel frame to a centrally located bedroom and when your alarm goes off get in the room with your children and a telephone. Let's stay safe people and leave the guns in the hands of those who know how to properly use and store them. I personally know many police officers who do not even have enough training to adequately retain their weapon in a struggle and you expect to be a weekend warrior and hold on to the weapon when you are struggling with a intruder who has probably been in prison and improved on his hand to hand techniques while pumping iron for six months straight.