Not long after his interview with a burglar on the best place to hide money in your home, the editor of PF Advice ran into this very same thief at, of all places, a cocktail party. Who invited the burglar, I don't know. But eager for a follow-up to this very popular feature -- which brought out the Dirty Harry in some of our BloggingStocks readers -- and holding tight onto his wallet, the editor convinced the man to divulge further secrets of the Fraternal Order of Burglars.Specifically he wondered, since we already know the best place to hide money (answer: a Mr. Potato Head), what's the worst place?
"Ninety-nine percent of the burglars on the street aren't like the ones you see in the movies where stealing is their chosen profession," says the burglar. "They are motivated by more sinister reasons. They are part of organized crime, they are part of a gang or, as in my case at the time, they are drug addicts."
Now I feel better. But his point, of course, is that these chemically dependent prowlers have a very different sense of the term "valuables," and that you should "think like a burglar" before hiding your money in a spot where he's most likely to look for drugs. "All burglars have habits," he continues, "and there were certain places I always checked for a specific reason -- I was a drug addict. I'm sure that other burglars have their particular search areas beyond the obvious drawers and closets, but I bet that most search these areas, too."
So that you never have your money mistaken for a bag of hash, here are the burglar's top five places not to hide your valuables:
1. Toilets: "If it is in the vicinity of the toilet and looks like drugs could be hidden there, I would look."
2. Cereal Boxes: "I'm sure that the people who didn't have drugs in their house wondered why there was cereal spread all over their kitchen after I robbed them."
3. Refrigerator & Freezer: "Many drugs last longer when refrigerated so big stashes end up in the refrigerator. Prescription drugs could also be found in the refrigerator."
4. Medicine Cabinet: "The medicine cabinet would usually be filled with prescription drugs that could be just as valuable on the street (or for self use) as illegal drugs."
5. Bed: "I would toss everything surrounding the bed. I'd check pillows, between the mattresses, under the bed and inside anything close to the bed. This is often where people would hide their guns."
B. Brandon Barker is the author of the novel Operation EMU.
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Reader Comments (Page 4 of 4)
3-24-2007 @ 3:05PM
Walter Kopilow said...
In Colorado we have the "make my day" law. If you think your life is in danger you have the right to use lethal force against an intruder.
I have a Mossberg 10 G pump. One day I heard someone in my house. All I had to do was chamber a round with the slide, and the clown ran away like a scared rabbit.
3-24-2007 @ 3:08PM
mellisande said...
best stash spot i've heard_ between two pieces of bread in the bread bag thought it was pretty smart, also in my state once the burgler comes in your house, hes fair game for target practice, 80 yr. old man shot a burgler in the back 4 times killed him and got off without a single minuite in the pokey, because it happened inside his house.
3-24-2007 @ 4:22PM
Sandy said...
When I was robbed, they swept all my jewelry off the bathroom counter, gold or rhinestone, made no difference. A month later, they came back, and searched more carefully, I am assuming looking for money, and they opened EVERY door and drawer in my house: bath bedroom kitchen dining room. The second time, they took nothing. I don't keep money in the house.
3-24-2007 @ 4:27PM
Russki08 said...
Hmm, I normally don't like to comment on these types of blogs but I figured I should add my two cents. My father is a former California police officer and so I have some knowledge of this sort of stuff.
1. Most burglars get in through unlocked and open windows and doors. Most people will spend lots of money on fancy alarm systems, guns, guard dogs, walling their estates with big wrought iron electric gates. People will also hire security companies too (which incidentally and I have a story about this is rather dangerous since many of these private security people are ex cons themselves). Really though, just locking your doors is the most important step you can take. Burglars are mostly looking for easy targets. Just having a locked door is extremely helpful.
2. Most burglaries occur during the daytime when no one is thought to be home. It is the easiest time to steal. Most people here seem to be aware of this.
3. People are talking about using guns here which makes me a tad nervous. First of all, guns are a great way to protect yourself.....if you are trained and know how to use them. Often times people aren't and this makes for extremely dangerous situations where people (often not the burglar) are harmed. Forgetting the risk to family members, if you don't know how to use a weapon, you are asking for trouble, especially with an armed or skilled intruder. A weapon is great until an intruder takes that weapon away from you and uses it against you. Also, people are talking rather loosely about killing people. I am no legal expert but I think that if you kill an unarmed suspect, you could be in a lot of hot water.
4. You don't neccesarily need a gun to defend yourself from a burglar. This is like the early or mid 90's (that was a high crime time especially in our neighborhood where we had a rash of burglaries) but one day our old next door neighbor comes home mid day from lunch. Some burglar is just casually waltzing out her front door in broad daylight carrying a box full of her valuables. This woman (an ardent liberal feminist no less) charged this hapless burglar and proceeded to beat the living crap out of him. When the LAPD arrived, they had to pull her off of him. The lesson here is that you don't burglarize in Los Angeles, if the LAPD won't get you, average citizens will.
Anyway, please keep your doors locked and stay safe. :)
3-24-2007 @ 5:51PM
I AM NO FOOL! said...
I am a single woman. I have a gun! Under stress, I do not know I would hit a target.
I DO TRUST my german shepherd DOG to do the job better than any gun!
Untrained to guard, she instinctively makes it her business to PROTECT me. Pity, the intruder that enters her world unannounced!The dog was a young "discard" when I found her starved with a dislocated hip by a highway. She has worshiped and protected me for 10 years. ***DISCLAIMER: DO NOT GET A DOG JUST FOR PROTECTION! YOU MUST LOVE and CARE FOR A DOG LIKE FAMILY. TO DO LESS IS "CRIMINAL"!
(Fact: Do you know that 80% of people in prisons are substance abusers? )
3-24-2007 @ 7:46PM
Edclark1952 said...
Adding on to my comment #54. If you do have to shoot use a "HOLLOW" point "FACTORY
LOAD" ...........NOT A HOME RELOAD! aslo they have great knock down power.
Reason being hollow point loads splatter / flatten out when hitting a wall and reduces the risk of carring through walls. Why not a ball nose load? I knew you where wondering. A ball nose will go through an individual and will carry well past after being fired with the risk of injuring someone And if you do have to shoot ..use a load big enough to get the job done preferably a 357 mag - 40 caliber or a 45ACP 230 grain JHP (my choice) but nothing less than a 380. I will agree a 22 does a lot of damage but it does not "STOP" the intruder no bullet will unless when you shoot the "placement" of bullet hits in a vital area. Are we all "placement" shooters I think not but we try to be. In a life death situation are you ready?
If not then it's best not to use any firearm unless there is no other choice.
It's key to know the weapon you are using and practicing with it regulary. As far as using home reloads the courts will have their day with you using supposingly "HOT LOADS" and you can be sued because who ever takes you to court will go after you the gun manufacturer and the bullet manufacturer (YOU) adn if a ball nose load is used and carries through front to back the families in a civil suit "will" come after you for blowing 2 holes through their loved one!!!!
3-25-2007 @ 6:06AM
mitch said...
Don't listen to 18.. for God's sake don't shoot an intruder OUTSIDE your home.. if he is outside he is not intruding!!! In most states you will have to prove you thought your life was in danger. If he is coming in through a window or door tell him you called the police,(you did call them didn't you?) then tell him you have a gun, if that doesn't stop him zing a few shots by his head.. if he continues to break in go ahead and cap his ass. You gave him fair warning. If you come home to find someone in your house get out, don't confront them. Go to a neighbors and call the police. You will be a lot happier in your life if you don't spend countless hours under a murder investigation or in court, you won't have to go through life knowing you killed someone and you won't have to get the bloody mess cleaned up off your walls and carpet.
3-25-2007 @ 6:05AM
mitch said...
It's best to hide large amounts of money, jewelry, drugs, or any valuables in a large heavy safe thats bolted to the floor. Better yet is to keep large sums of money in the bank.
3-25-2007 @ 12:16PM
bre said...
how much do you trust the people you do let in your house?
most robberies are by so called friends who know you well
My mom was a pro atr hiding money and we got robbed by a 13yo friend, money was in the center of a roll of toliet paper sitting on back of toliet
some of my moms favs
in plain site fold money, slide in corner of a large picture (who really looks that close at the picture over the couch
Over a window or door frame (be sure to tape in place)
Open kitchen cabinet tape money to least lighted corner
Take mid screw out of light or power switch put money in then put screw back in
Tape money under desk or table
Slide money in section between bottom and side of couch
Take thermostat cover off ther is rom there for a nice roll
but best of all put your money in the BANK if you can and use a debit card
As you can imagine I was raised in some very rough places and even now i try to carry 10 cash just in case I was robbed so I would not piss the robbers off by not having any cash
Another thing if you have expensive computer,down play it take side cover off use a cheap keyboard from thriftstore olderlooking the better
Good luck and think before buying a gun especially if children are in your house (is all the stuff in your house worth even one life?
3-26-2007 @ 1:53AM
Red Robin said...
Thanks for printing my comments!!!
3-28-2007 @ 9:53PM
Edclark1952 said...
Hey #66 Mitch One comment! First of all if you have a intruder comming into a window of your home and you tell him you called the police and he's still comming in there's no way in hell I'm firing a shot over his head to SCARE him "YOU CAN" my first bullet hopefully will stop him in his tracks as **he's entering**. So many people dont want conflict when there lives are put in a dangerous situation they think that being "nice" or warning the intruder/attacker will solve the problem "BE BOLD AND TAKE ACTION TO "STOP" THE INDIVIDUAL being nice will get you killed! And further more if you do have to shoot the intruder tell the police you shot to "STOP" the intruder not to kill him.
3-30-2007 @ 3:08PM
kr4447 said...
bury it!!!!!!!!!!