Going Wells Fargo one better

Yesterday Zac Bissonnette reported that Wells Fargo (NYSE:WFC) employs a historian to create genealogies for their wealthiest customers, and wealthy non-customers they wish to cultivate. This caused me to wonder if this stroke of genius might not be transferable to other markets. In this age when every business is identifying their best customers, might they not reward their customers with the services of a professional? For example:

• Wal-Mart's (NYSE: WMT) Sam's Club customers would love their own stevedore.
• For Anheuser-Busch's (NYSE: BUD) biggest spenders -- a chauffeur, or a bail bondsman. Either would be useful.
• Krispy Kreme Doughnuts' addicts (NYSE: KKD) -- Their own cardiologist.
• For Abercrombie and Fitch (NYSE: ANF) customers- a personal bikini-waxer. (I wonder if this is truly a profession?)
• For devotees of the Apple iPod (NASDAQ: AAPL) -- why not a personal audiologist? I said A PERSONAL AUIDIOLOGIST.
• For Waste Management Inc (NYSE: WMI) customers -- their own aroma therapist.
• For JetBlue Airways (NASDAQ: JBLU) frequent flyers – a personal anger management coach.
• For DaimlerChrysler AG (NYSE: DCX) loyalists -- a magician to teach them the trick to turning five pounds of crap into a steak dinner.
• Harley Davidson's (NYSE: HOG) favorite customers –- A personal wardrobe consultation with Dog, the Bounty Hunter.
• Sara Lee Corp (NYSE: SLE) – Their own seamstress, expert at letting out seams.
• PetroChina Co Ltd ADR (NYSE: PTR) -- Their own personal Oxfam volunteer.

And for you, our most loyal and treasured BloggingStocks reader: A personal chef, to prepare and serve my bologna.