PETA appels to imprisoned Paris

In a perhaps somewhat misguided turn that could make carnivores out of the strictest vegetarians (I'm kidding, folks), animal-rights group PETA is considering signing the polarizing Paris Hilton as its latest spokeswoman.

Playing on the fact that the Hilton Hotels (NYSE: HLT) heiress and party girl is currently spending time behind bars, PETA officials hope Ms. Hilton grows to empathize with chickens and other animals who live out their days in cramped, confined spaces.

A PETA spokesperson told MSNBC's gossip columnist that "We're asking Paris to narrate our Kentucky Fried Cruelty video showing how chickens are routinely crammed into tiny cages and suffer broken wings and legs ... unlike inmates at the jail in L.A., these animals get no reprieve or medical treatment."

The group even has the tag line sewn up "KFC - that's not hot." My opinion? That's not creative, and the Yum! Brands (NYSE: YUM) chain should have nothing to worry about. While the ethical treatment of animals is an important issue, perhaps a more sympathetic, thoughtful spokesperson would better convey the severity of the problem. KFC officials say their chicken is purchased from suppliers such as Tyson Foods (NYSE: TSN) and Perdue Farms, which are all routinely monitored for animal welfare violations.

While Paris has yet to respond, PETA is encouraged by the precedent of Martha Stewart narrating an anti-fur video after her incarceration.

Beth Gaston Moon is an analyst at Schaeffer's Investment Research.