You have to love academia. With the subprime meltdown in full swing and Americans with ARM and/or pay-option mortgages finding their homes in jeopardy, Tomasz Piskorski of Columbia Business School and Alexei Tchistyi of New York University's Stern School of Business have come out with a 65-page paper full of equations to demonstrate that no, actually these so-called toxic mortgages are the best ones out there.

The authors of the study argue that, in a perfect world, these mortgages are great -- sounds a little bit like what some people say about communism. Pay-option ARMs work great if people behave rationally -- act in the own best interests, behave with self-discipline, and pay more than the minimum whenever possible.

That sounds like most of the subprime borrowers you know? Yeah, that's what I thought. The professors say that, with proper education, these loans could be attractive. According to Piskorski:

"Obviously people are to some extent irrational. But if you want to ban this type of contract, you should really weigh the benefits and the costs. How much could you educate people? Make people understand them. Provide them with software. Make a federal law that requires the lender to reveal what this contract is about."

But most people know shockingly little about finances. According to a Jump$tart survey, "Only 14.2% [of high school students] felt stocks are likely to have higher average returns than savings bonds, savings accounts, and checking accounts over the next 18 years in spite of the fact that there has never been an 18 years period when this was not true."

So educating people about pay-option ARMs seems a little ambitious.