My wife and I met at USC where we both went to architecture school. She is a licensed architect and accredited in LEED (TM) sustainable design. We both worked for others for a while and then started our own practice. Before we had children that was the natural progression of things.
When our first child was born she reduced her hours from about 35 hours a week to about 30. When the second was born she further reduced her hours and by the time the third was born she was working about 18 hours a week. Eventually she decided to stay at home and manage the household full time. She also works in the community, reads avidly and has time to expand her religious interests. She prefers that to the trials and tribulations of the business world.
She enjoyed being an architect, but she hated business. I thrive in both, although there is much to do in business that is not rewarding. Our youngest is eleven, and my wife may return to work when it pleases her. There was a time when her contribution to the family income made a difference, but that time has long since past.
The new book "The Feminine Mistake" weighs in by trying to make the case that mothers assume too much of a financial and career risk if they stay at home to raise the kids. I think this is ridiculous!
It does not make sense to push women in one direction or the other. Each person has to respond to a different set of circumstances and sometimes it is even the man who stays at home. Given the direction of our society, there are ever more choices and circumstances each family can take into consideration.
It is true that a working woman provides more financial stability for herself and her household. But the days of people promoting the stupid idea of "quality time" are gone. There is just time, and the more you spend with your family the better off your family will be.
Some women will choose to stay at home and some will choose to work and some will choose to do both. Some will choose to work, then stop for a while, and then go back. Still others will not have any choice at all because the cost of living does not allow them much choice. The financial cost of not working is easier to measure in dollars, however the cost of working to the quality of family life is also high. Just because it is less quantifiable in dollars and cents does not mean that you cannot attribute a cost there as well.
Those women who have a choice -- more power to you. Those women who do not, I hope your situations improve. It may be a new book, but pushing in one direction seems old.
To find potential opportunities and verify my track record read Chasing Value or Serious Money.
Sheldon Liber is the CEO of a small private investment company and the principal for design and research at an architecture & planning firm. He is on the advisory board of internet start-up CircleBuilder.com.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
10-03-2007 @ 3:22PM
The_Village_Idiot said...
More power to you if you can swing raising your own children. I noticed the neighborhood kids with a stay-at-home parent seem much happier and better adjusted than those poor rushed-out-the-door kennel raised kids. You can't put a price on that precious time raising & moulding your children.
10-05-2007 @ 1:21PM
C Caton said...
It is true - everyone's circumstances are different, you are absolutely correct there.
But the thing is, many more mothers could afford to stay home if they were willing to give a few things up. We did it, and were "poor" by many peoples standards. What we gave up were vacations, dinners out, a second car, trips to the beauty shop, etc.
We became more creative in our entertainment options, and taught our kids to be too. We became bargain shoppers, scouring the garage sales for many items - and taught the kids too as well. We cut coupons from the Sunday paper and scoured the grocery ads for the best deals. We became less wasteful, more thoughtful of our purchases and put thought into what we really "needed" as opposed to what we "wanted".
We learned that "used" appliances, furniture, cars etc. were the best bargains out there, often found with many years of service left in them for a fraction of the cost of new.
I wouldn't trade those years for anything in the world - they were truly priceless. There are things in life that I think are acceptable and even necessary to hire someone to do, but raising your children shouldn't be one of them if you have a choice. And by having a choice I'm not talking about "well we can't buy that new car, house, etc. if I don't work." I mean those who can't buy that loaf of bread or pay the light bill if they don't work outside of the home.
Just my two cents, for what it's worth...
10-08-2007 @ 8:11PM
rxwiz said...
This is AMERICA. Sheldon, it takes many years of experience to gain WISDOM on what you say. I think you have and I have the best wives who most certanly gave up the business effort to raise our kids and I will mention here, at least mine worked her way back after the kids started college and is a shinning example that it can be done. Money is not everything; but I will say it certainly helps. With hope , and effort and whim and vigor, most anything can be accomplished.
This is AMERICA..........