Mergers I'd like to see -- Batesville Casket (HB) and Tupperware (TUP)

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Most mergers are driven by the notion, sometimes wildly mistaken, that the combination will bring both a competitive advantage. Some pairs of companies, however, seem so intuitively right for one another, no bottom-line considerations should be allowed to interfere with their matrimony. Like a BB gun and an empty bottle, these two were meant for one another.

The funeral industry is one of the last bastions against the pervasive move down-market. Not even Ikea sells a casket. Yet.

There are two American companies, though, that if combined, could offer a new application for a product that people have trusted for decades -- I'm talking, of course, about a Tupperware Casket. I even have a slogan: Burp 'em and bury 'em.

One of Hillenbrand Industries, Inc. (NYSE: HB)'s best holdings is the Batesville Casket Company. While the funeral services portion of HB has enjoyed steady growth, it is now facing possible antitrust charges for allegedly conspiring with funeral home companies to prevent discounters and online retailers from marketing their wares. Pairing up with Tupperware (NYSE: TUP) on a line of budget burial goods might take the teeth out of that charge.

Tupperware could also be the direct marketer Hillenbrand needs. One of the first companies to sell its wares via a homemaker sales force, it has since broadened its product line into other house and beauty products. TUP claims a sales force of 1.9 million. That's a hell of a lot of "parties."

Almost every customer attending a Tupperware party is going to need a casket some day, imagine how many Tupperware afterlife collections a sales force of this size could move. And imagine how useful the container could be while marking time toward its ultimate use. Bathe the dog? Ice down beer? Cover the a/c unit for the winter? Upside down, it would make a striking coffee table.

Hillenbrand and Tupperware -- a match made in heaven (or slightly before).


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Last updated: February 09, 2010: 06:20 PM

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