Okay, I'm filing this under "things you get to do if you have more money than God."
On Thursday, Mike Bloomberg, mad genius, obscenely rich guy, and mayor of New York, announced that he would not be pursuing an independent Presidential run in 2008. The next day, he followed that up with a statement that he is considering backing another Presidential candidate ("Backing," in this context, translates into "roughly a billion dollars in campaign funding"). While everyone has assumed that he is planning on helping one of the three current front-runners, his vague wording opens up another possibility.
You see, when Bloomberg announced that he had decided not to run, he stated that an independent candidate "could win the race," but that it wouldn't be him. This makes perfect sense: the relatively poor showing of previous independents, coupled with the fact that being perceived as a "spoiler" tends to make one incredibly unpopular, convinced the big B that he didn't want to wreck his career on a failed candidacy. However, just because he doesn't want to be 2008's Ralph Nader doesn't mean that he is willing to completely turn his back on the White House. After all, why should he risk his neck when there are so many other people willing to put themselves out there?
Now that the big three candidates are lining up to be Bloomberg's new best buddy, this could be the perfect time to think about an independent run at the presidency. If you are over the age of 35, a natural-born citizen of the United States, and have been a resident here for the last fourteen years, you might consider going for the highest job in the land. The job pays $400,000 a year, you get free room and board, complimentary airfare, free car service, and a top-notch personal staff. The health and dental plans are fantastic, and you get a pension that is currently valued at $183,500 per year. Best of all, with Bloomberg footing the bill, you might even make it all the way.
Although he has been somewhat coy about his contact information, I'm sure that qualified applicants could reach him via his Mayoral office. His address is: Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, City Hall, New York, NY 10007. His phone number is 212-639-9675, and his fax number is 212-788-2460.
Ralph Nader need not apply.
Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. He isn't running for President. Yet.
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