At a mere $276 million, celebrity talk-show host and entertainment billionaire Oprah Winfrey could afford to buy Bear Stearns (NYSE: BSC), which closed Tuesday at $5.91 per share and keeps on climbing to over $6.50 a share in morning trading. The story alone and the associated publicity would be worth at least that. Furthermore, she could at least make an offer and demand a meeting with the Federal Reserve Board to discuss the issue.
If her offer was rejected, she would still be able to generate millions of dollars of publicity and perhaps she might want to acquire the asset, in particular if the Fed is going to protect the acquirer from potential losses. She could really become an international mogul, the likes of which has not been seen. We all know that Oprah wants to do good. She is so giving, this could be the ultimate.
I could just see the headlines: Oprah Winfrey takes on JP Morgan Chase (NYSE: JPM) and the Federal Reserve to rescue John Q. Public.
For those of you who think I jest, I kid you not. Bear Stearns is being sold way too cheap and this dubious thought about potential white knights came to me because I myself would make an offer if I had the money. If nothing else, it would allow me see JPM's deal sheet.
Oprah is not the only celebrity who could do this deal. Given the level of risk, perhaps Michael Jordan would have an interest? He is a notorious gambler, and like all the other Wall Street big shots, is a heck of a golfer and smokes big cigars. He has historically done very well in big games; this is a big game for sure! His headline would be very cute too: Bear Stearns saying to the Fed: Hey, I know, lets get Mike-ee!"
The possibilities are endless. Maybe Steven Spielberg would buy BSC for the story rights. Many of his films have made far more money than the reported BSC price tag. He could make it a mini-series. Teamed up with his pal George Lucas, they could make back the money and have a head start by selling Bear Stearns $1.1 billion headquarters and relocate the staff to Skywalker Ranch in California.
So much of what goes on in Wall Street is fiction anyway. Harrison Ford would sign on in a heartbeat for the lead, and at his age he would be perfect to play a cross between Indiana Jones and Carl Icahn. I'm sure Carl would sign on for a cameo scene. Okay, I'll stop now before someone comes to take me away.
In the real news, it was reported this morning that "Secretive billionaire Joseph Lewis and former Bear Stearns chief Jimmy Cayne are quietly searching for a white knight to top the $276 million takeover offer by JPMorgan."
I hope they read this post; it may give Joe and Jim some creative ideas.
Sheldon Liber is the CEO of a small private investment company and the design and research principal for an architecture and planning firm. He writes Chasing Value and Serious Money columns. Disclosure: I am a shareholder in BSC.
Happy holidays! Google giving away free Wi-Fi 
Dr. Doom Nouriel Roubini believes the bubble is about to burst
Cramer on BloggingStocks: Investors are rethinking their snap judgments 
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
3-19-2008 @ 3:04PM
Athelstan said...
Let the Bear Stearns investors pay. Caveat emptor as they say. No more socialism for Wall Street.
Contrary to what CEO Schwartz was saying just a few days ago, the company does indeed have liquidity problems. Mismanagement and possible malfeasance may be the root cause of Bear Stearns' demise. Not investors who failed to have "confidence". This lame excuse would be laughable. If the tragedy at Bear were a laughing matter.
3-19-2008 @ 5:15PM
Ray Rodriguez said...
Investment bankers have fallen to the level of attorneys. Too many, over paid, all about greed. Let them get a real job.
3-25-2008 @ 5:34PM
Mark said...
If any of the people mentioned in the article stepped up and bought Bear Sterns at the time JP Morgan bailed it out, they would now probably be broke. What stopped the total bankruptcy of Bear is the fact that JP Morgan stepped in and stopped the run. Any purchaser without the kind of funding and security that a JP Morgan provides would soon find themselves holding an empty building with a lot of liability. Don't forget that at the time the Fed brokered the deal with JP Morgan investors weren't just heading to the doors, they were jumping out the windows and smashing through walls trying to get out.