Apple Inc (NASDAQ: AAPL) will unveil headgear that doubles as both headphones and a personal masseuse, giving tantalizing head, neck and shoulders massages.
In an attempt to help with falling click-through rates, Google Inc (NASDAQ: GOOG)'s new mobile phone will be offered free as long as you sign Google's activation agreement requiring you to click on a mobile ad every hour, even while you sleep.
Not to be outdone by Google, Chinese rival, Baidu.com Inc (NASDAQ: BIDU), will design software that instantaneously translates Chinese websites to English and vice versa!
To attract more capital, Washington Mutual Inc (NYSE: WM) will partner with Altria Group (NYSE: MO) to give away thousands of cases of cigarettes to customers willing to deposit amounts over the $100,000 FDIC-insured limit.
And what I'm looking forward to most, Microsoft Corp (NASDAQ: MSFT)'s new operating system, code named "Love Doctor," will not only run your computer, it will also manage your personal relationships -- as determined by a special algorithm that Bill Gates is working on this very moment -- with the tagline "Life is tough, let us make it easier for you!"
I admit most of these ideas are unlikely -- at best -- but don't laugh at them; some might be here before you know it. After all, everybody laughed when they first heard about mobile ringtones, but billions of dollars in revenues -- and profits -- later, early adopters like Nokia (NYSE: NOK) and Motorola Inc (NYSE: MOT) laughed their way to the bank.
Timothy Sykes writes the blog timothysykes.com, is a former hedge fund manager, star of the TV show Wall Street Warriors and author of the book, An American Hedge Fund: How I Made $2 Million as a Stock Operator & Created a Hedge Fund
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
4-10-2008 @ 3:55PM
BILL said...
when one has nothing to say, the silence is quite deafening. talk about a waste of time writing...and reading a column.
bill
naples