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My plan to save 'American Idol'

Posted May 13th 2008 4:56PM by Jonathan Berr
Filed under: Television, Marketing and advertising, News Corp'B' (NWS)

About every 10 seconds or so this season, "American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest or one of the judges brags about how this group of contestants is the most talented in the show's history. They speak about the huge number of votes being cast and the huge number of song downloads sold on iTunes. Well, as the Associated Press points out, the American people would beg to differ.

"The 21.8 million people who watched last Tuesday's competition was the show's smallest Tuesday audience in more than five years," the AP said. "The show did better the next night, with 22.9 million, but that was the smallest Wednesday audience in three years, according to Nielsen Media Research."

But Idol fans and shareholders of News Corp. (NYSE: NWS) should not get too down since the show can be saved if producers follow my advice:

  1. Fire Paula Abdul - Most of the time she makes no sense which has lead some people to wonder there is more than just Coca-Cola in that red cup in front of her. Perhaps Sharon Osbourne is available. She would make an excellent foil to Simon Cowell.
  2. A new catch phrase for Randy Jackson -- That "dog" does not hunt any more. The show should hold a contest to develop a new phrase for him to keep repeating.
  3. Get Simon Cowell a wardrobe -- Is he too cool to care about how he dresses or too cheap to buy nice clothes?
  4. Seacrest out -- Whatever pact he's made with Satan has bound to have expired. Why does he need Idol anymore when he's on every other television show?
  5. The sound system -- Am I crazy or does the sound on some songs seem much clearer than others?
  6. The results show -- Producers stretch out 10 minutes of content into a 30-minute show. Either make this program interesting or merge the two shows together.
  7. The musical numbers -- Why must viewers be tortured by the Idols butchering a pop music classic set to an arrangement that makes them look less hip than cruise ship entertainers? This should be axed.
  8. Phone calls -- The idiotic questions from idiotic viewers grind the show to a halt
  9. Transparency -- It would be nice to know the vote totals for each performer
  10. Contestants -- Producers used to be good at finding interesting people who can sing. What happened?

Though the viewership is still large, the show has gotten as stale as day-old bread. The final contestants are a mediocre lot at best. David Cook has got rock star hair but has copied many of his memorable song arrangements from others. David Archuletta always looks like he is about to cry as he sings one song just like the other. Syesha Mercado has a pretty voice but she seems more suited to the Broadway stage than the pop charts.

Week after week, voters ditched the talented contestants such as Carly Smithson, and Amanda Overmyer and the ones that showed flashes of promise like Michael Johns. Instead, they let the likes of Jason Castro and Kristy Lee Cook make it to the top 10.

If Americans can't get this right, how are we going to ever elect a president?

Tags: American Idol, AmericanIdol, entertainment, Fox TV, FoxTv, NWS, Paula Abdul, PaulaAbdul, Randy Jackson, RandyJackson, Ryan Seacrest, RyanSeacrest

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