Howard Stern, the reason why many people subscribe to Sirius Satellite Radio Inc. (NASDAQ: SIRI), has upset country legend Dolly Parton.

The singer is madder than a rattlesnake trying to bite a fencepost at the self-styled King of All Media for splicing together audio segments that made it appear that she was saying nasty things about celebrities including Kenny Rogers, Linda Rondstadt, Burt Reynolds and Johnny Carson, according to the Associated Press.

In a statement posted on her Web site, the singer/songwriter said she had never been so "shocked, hurt and humiliated in my life...Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this. If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it's going to be over this."

I am sure that any lawyer Parton contacts -- or an law student for that matter -- will tell the writer of "I will always love you" that she doesn't have a snowball's chance of prevailing against Stern. The First Amendment gives performers the right to say vile things about celebrities in what is obviously a parody. Remember Jerry Falwell's fight against Hustler magazine which he lost in the Supreme Court? The same concept applies here.



Parton also seems to be getting some bad public relations advice.

Had she just ignored the bit, most people would have probably simply forgotten about it and Stern would have moved onto his next victim. By picking a fight with Stern, she is creating a publicity gold mine for the "shock jock" and his boss Sirius Chief Executive Mel Karmazin. This also is good news for Sirius shareholders because it shows that Stern is worth every penny that the company pays him.

If Parton really wanted revenge on Stern, she should hire some comedy writers and sound engineers and splice together sound bytes from the author of "Private Parts" that make him look stupid. I am sure it would annoy Stern but like Parton there would be nothing he could do about it.