CEOs get big paydays for dying -- why?

The Wall Street Journal reports (subscription required) that if Nabors Industries' (NYSE: NBR) 78-year old chairman Eugene Isenberg died, the company would have to pay his estate "severance" of $263 million.

According to the Journal, "Dozens of other companies offer lush death-benefit packages to their top executives, according to a Wall Street Journal review of federal filings. Many companies accelerate unvested stock awards after a death, which by itself can amount to tens of millions of dollars. Some promise giant posthumous severance payouts, supercharged pensions or even a continuation of executives' salaries or bonuses for years after they're dead."

What?! A continuation of salaries and bonuses after the CEO dies? I have to tell you: it speaks volumes about how low the performance targets for bonuses are at America's public companies when they can be achieved from 6-feet under. How can a bonus possibly be performance-related when it's paid out even if the executive kicks off? I just don't get it at all.

It gets worse: executives are given hefty parting gifts in exchange for non-compete agreements -- by signing the employment contract, they agree not to go work for a competitor if they part ways. They still get those non-compete payments if they die. But maybe that makes sense: even a dead guy could probably deliver stronger results than Borders Group (NYSE: BGP) CEO George Jones has. Rumor has it that the company has considered replacing him with Tolstoy.

Be sure to read the Wall Street Journal piece. It's depressing, hilarious, and pathetic, all at the same time. If you needed more proof that corporate governance in America is a joke, look no further.