Funny bidness: A little gallows humor to lighten your day

Posted Oct 10th 2008 5:15PM by Tom Barlow

Don't end the week on a dour note! Here is a little gallows humor to lighten your day, culled from the 'net for your enjoyment.

The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.

It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.

Question: When does a person decide to become a stockbroker?
Answer: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

Why is a BMW a stockbroker's favorite car?
Because he can't spell Porsche.

Why did God create market analysts?
In order to make weather forecasters look good!

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

What's the capital of Iceland? Answer: $3.50

I went to buy a toaster, and it came with a bank.

Trading online is just great. I find it really speeds things up. I now get my margin calls five times as fast.

Q: In these busy market times, how can you get the attention of your broker?
A: Say, "Hey, waiter!"

Tags: financial crisis, FinancialCrisis, humor

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

10-10-2008 @ 5:56PM

william lindblad said...

How about
Estonia? new cereal?

10-11-2008 @ 9:27AM

Dalai Grandma said...

Love that, I slept like a baby last night. How easy it is to make fun of brokers once you get on a roll. Hey, they earned it.

10-11-2008 @ 9:21AM

Frank said...

BIDNESS? what kind of word is bidness? can we speak english well? at least in a news article. what a disgrace.

10-11-2008 @ 9:35AM

Lisa S said...

Gallows Humor is old school people.

When Sir Thomas Moore was facing the Axe (literally about to lose his head), he said "Strong medicine you wield, and yet it cures all things..."

So people? It's ONLY money.

I remember a man tried to impress me once...his claim was that he's "made and lost several fortunes in his life".

I couldn't resist a reply...

"That statement would be so much more impressive...if you had managed to keep one of them....