Given the total nightmare that the securities markets have become over the past few years, you would think that the SEC chairman would be a little bit ashamed of his tenure. At the very least, he wouldn't have the cajones to go on the record as being proud of his accomplishments, would he?

If his name is Chris Cox, yes he would. In his first interview responding to the well-deserved criticism that has been tossed at him, Cox said that "What we have done in this current turmoil is stay calm, which has been our greatest contribution -- not being impulsive, not changing the rules willy-nilly, but going through a very professional and orderly process that takes into account unintended consequences and gives ample notice to market participants."

Holy crap. This is the equivalent of Nero saying that he takes considerable pride in his measured, prudent response to the burning of Rome: "At least I didn't panic!"

He referred to the Madoff affair as a "big asterisk" on an otherwise good record. Right: the largest Ponzi scheme in history was an asterisk. So other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show? Notably, Cox did admit that the ban on short selling of financial stocks was a mistake. Of course, we already knew that, and most intelligent commentators said all along that the SEC was barking up the wrong tree in going after short sellers.

By any objective measure, Chris Cox's tenure as SEC chairman was a pathetic failure. But watching him to try to defend it is sort of fun.