Lehman corpse squabbles over pens and golf balls

O, how the mighty have fallen.

A year ago, Lehman Bros. was one of the top investment banks in the country, near the head of the list of dream companies among graduates from the best business schools, paying out billions in bonuses and sending employees on lavish vacations.

Now Lehman has been reduced to litigating over the knickknacks it used to give away at conferences. Bloomberg reports that "Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. has negotiated the return of thousands of Lehman-logoed knickknacks that were mistakenly transferred to Barclays Plc through the sale of the bankrupt securities firm's brokerage unit. Tote bags, umbrellas, stress balls, Tiffany paperweights and other items now stored in closets and warehouses from New York to Chicago will be returned to Lehman and sold to pay creditors, according to a court filing on March 19."

Items currently being stored include:

• 1,630 green canvas duffle bags with Lehman ribbon
• 353 green compact golf umbrellas
• 75 Waterford Marquis Treviso crystal clocks
• 682 white Lehman coffee mugs
• 130 Swiss Army pens
• English beechwood-lined sterling silver box from 1902
• 200 Lehman conference pens
• 12 pairs of Links of London cufflinks
• 24 Screwpull wine openers inscribed "LB"
• 24 Titleist PRO VI golf balls inscribed "LB"
• 30 girl Teddy Bears
• 18 large, ivory womens' F&G stretch snap shirts
• 1 Tiffany shooting star
  

In limited quantities, the items probably have marginal value as collectibles on eBay -- Enron memorabilia is still regularly available on eBay, generally at prices very comparable to what the same item would cost without the logo. But given the large quantities, the merchandise would probably have to be sold at a discount to its replacement value.

I say we offer this pile of crap to AIG executives in lieu of cash bonuses.