Taco Bell debuts 'Lose Your Job, Return Your Lunch' program

Posted May 4th 2009 7:00PM by Zac Bissonnette
Filed under: Comic Relief

NOTE: Warning: satire ahead.

With companies like Saturn and Hyundai offering help to customers who buy new cars and then lose their jobs, Taco Bell is following suit.

Miami Beach mortgage banker Pierre Dubois's morning began just like any other one. After a few hours at the office, he headed to Taco Bell for his daily fully-loaded taco salad -- $5.49. But upon returning to his office, he received the news that his job had been outsourced to India, and he was being terminated, effective immediately. He would receive severance of just one day's salary plus fifteen minutes of catastrophic dental coverage.

It was at that moment that DuBois realized just what a godsend Taco Bell's 'Lose Your Job, Return Your Lunch" promotion was.

"Ordinarily, I'd think nothing of paying $5.49 for a taco salad, even though each one costs me at least twice that in toilet paper," he said. "But now that I'm unemployed it's different. I have to watch every penny. I'm so grateful that Taco Bell has this program, even though I never expected to have to use it."

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