Walmart's New Health Food Push: Is It Too Hard to Swallow?
Bonds Are a 'Safe' Investment: A Big Lie Gets Even BiggerA new stock ticker tool for the Apple (NASDAQ: AAPL) iPhone may not have you hoping for a plunge, but at least it takes the sting out a little bit. This new application pairs strippers with tickers, and as the numbers tick down, items of clothing find their way to the floor. There's a different girl for each of the major indices, providing a bit of spice to international financial markets. So, whether you follow the DAX or the Dow, you won't be the only person losing his shirt when the market tanks.
Doubtless, some have no interest in watching svelte stripping women illustrate their loss of fortune. For this crowd, male strippers are available. Whether you lean toward boys or girls, whatever your sex and orientation, sometimes a helpful hottie is exactly what you need to soothe your spirit.
There is a catch ... there always is.
Market rallies prompt the strippers to don their clothing once again. A record day for the Dow could have your "market guide" dressed for December in Winnipeg – but at least you'll have enough cash to warrant a trip to Rick's Cabaret (NASDAQ: RICK).
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
Goldman Earnings Sink After Buffett Dividend
Johnson & Johnson's Income Falls 23%
Burberry Shares Leap on Sales Update
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
9-24-2009 @ 12:09AM
Beltway Greg said...
All of this and heaven in the end. Home girl is going to be buttoned up tight when we scoot past $200.
The next frontier? Exceeding MSFT's market capitalization.
I don't expect MSFT to drop that much and it will probably go up by 20% so this makes Apple's job that much more difficult. I'm going to sit down and crunch some numbers and put them into a fake forward looking equation and come up with a date.