Living in Cincinnati, I became well-acquainted with a saying that is sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, "When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always twenty years behind the time." The point is that I am used to being a bit behind on all of the goings on in the world -- Cincinnati is just a bit set in its ways. That said, there is something that even Cincinnati beat the Brits to -- the Snuggie. Apparently, America's latest craze has finally moved its way across the pond and is now ready to warm Brits looking to snuggle down with a nice cup of Earl Grey tea.

So, who out there cuts their own hair? I do, mainly because it is fading fast and it is a lot easier to have my wife take the clippers and then razor to my head rather than paying to go get my hair cut professionally. Now that I have started to outgrow my hair (a fact of life that many men have to accept), I have realized that it is both more convenient and cheaper to have my wife cut my hair.

This practice used to be a tradition, with fathers taking pictures while cutting their young boys' hair -- but it now turns out that home hair cutters are thriving during the recent economic downturn, at least according to a Wall Street Journal article (subscription required).

Here's one of those ubiquitous email jokes that has been circulating around the globe for the past few days -- except that this one is actually funny.

The Top 12 Signs the Economy Is Bad

12. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.

9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.

8. Obama met with small businesses GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup, and GM to discuss the Stimulus Package.

7. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children's names.

5. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in America?"

3. Motel Six won't leave the lights on.

2. The mafia is laying off judges.

1. If the bank returns your check marked as "insufficient funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

A wonderful 19th century writer offered observations in print from time to time. He remains one of our nation's best role models and minds, so accordingly the following economic insights and observations are offered, With Malice Toward None.

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First, why does it look like in this market all of good long plays have been bid-up to $47, and all short plays are trading near $8?

With companies like Saturn and Hyundai offering help to customers who buy new cars and then lose their jobs, Taco Bell is following suit.

Miami Beach mortgage banker Pierre Dubois's morning began just like any other one. After a few hours at the office, he headed to Taco Bell for his daily fully-loaded taco salad -- $5.49. But upon returning to his office, he received the news that his job had been outsourced to India, and he was being terminated, effective immediately. He would receive severance of just one day's salary plus fifteen minutes of catastrophic dental coverage.

It was at that moment that DuBois realized just what a godsend Taco Bell's 'Lose Your Job, Return Your Lunch" promotion was.

It is not possible to know what level is the right level to enter the stock market and various analysts, gurus, journalists and economists have been weighing in this week as the market closed at a one month high, with some folks even becoming downright optimistic.

I might add that the true level we have reached is one of amusement to me because we all are trying to call the market bottom. I myself have entered the fray trashing Nostradamus along the way. This is as much hope, as fact, and folks are looking for clues everywhere.

Some are looking at historical precedent for clues. Technical analysts are combing their charts for patterns of market behavior. The uptrend has to be sponsored to some degree by short covering and momentum traders too.

Positive news was reported by Wells Fargo (NYSE: WFC) which said on Thursday, April 9 that it expects to post a record first-quarter profit of $3 billion, up about 50 percent from a year earlier, due to better-than-expected performance from Wachovia (acquired in December) and a strong performance in mortgage lending. This was all it took to send the market higher even before anyone has actually sifted through the quarterly report for themselves -- not due out until April 22.

I am not surprised that the market is up and I have been putting cash to work for the past six months; but not all at once; not without recognizing that I might be early; and not without a plan. This has included buying WFC most recently at $12.00 and selling naked puts at strike prices of $7.50, $9.00 and $12.00. My most recent post on the subject from last month was Chasing Value: The safest bank in the U.S. -- Wells Fargo.

If you have missed the recent market pop do not fret and do not chase it because it could change direction as many have called this a bear market rally.

What might be most prudent at this point, if you believe that the volatility will continue and the stock market will not see true lasting improvement for a while, is to segment the money you want to put back to work into four or five tranches and invest on a regular basis dollar cost averaging back in over time.

Sheldon Liber is the CEO of a small private investment company and the principal for design and research at an architecture & planning firm. He writes the columns Chasing Value and Serious Money. Disclosure: I own shares of WFC and I have open options.

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