Wall Street appears ready to claim a third straight day of gains as stocks continue a rally cheered by brighter economic news and expectations of higher corporate profits. All three major U.S. indexes -- the Dow Jones industrial average, the S&P 500 and the Nasdaq composite -- were higher in premarket trading Wednesday morning.

Yesterday, the Dow Jones industrial average had its second-straight day of double-digit point gains, picking up 131.50 to end at 9,731.25 after Australia boosted interest rates citing an improved economy and earnings expectations that rose for the just-concluded third quarter.

I hear that Parker Brothers is eager to put out a TARP edition of Monopoly, but it's going to take them eleven years to print enough money.

To put the $700 billion TARP giveaway in perspective: in 2007, the sum of all U.S. citizen charitable contributions, including our donations to churches, was $306 billion.

Want to see one of the biggest culprits in the U.S. balance of trade deficit? Check out your local Wal-Mart (NYSE:WMT). Look in the mirror department.

Best estimates are that the sun will explode in 43,800,000,000,000 days, give or take a few billion. So those people who claim we're digging a financial hole we'll never get out of are clearly wrong.

Remember the good old days, when all we worried about was the length of Martha Stewart's sentence at Camp Cupcake?

Oligopoly and Oilgopoly are hard to tell apart.

The economy hasn't hit rock bottom as long as people are still buying:
Vanity license plates
Outfits for cement geese
Vitamin water
Blahnik shoes
Pedicures
Kobe beef

A wise man once pointed out to me that there are only two amounts of money -- enough, and not enough. Most of us still have enough. Be grateful for that on Thanksgiving Day.