Today, Time Warner closed at 17.40, a gain of 0.23%.

But what does a gain of 0.23% mean? Well, allow me to put that in perspective for you:

• François Truffaut's film The 400 Blows (Les Quatre Cent Coups) won him the Best Director Award at Cannes in 1959. A 0.23% gain would've forced the Film Festival to praise him instead for The 400.92 Blows.
• In the Biblical story of Noah's flood, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. With a 0.23% gain, it would have rained for 40.092 days and 40.092 nights.
• Water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Water would freeze at 32.0736 degrees Fahrenheit with a 0.23% gain.
• In the sport of bike racing, a racer said to be "dying a thousand deaths" when struggling to hang on to the pack.With a 0.23% gain, he would be "dying a thousand-two-point-three deaths."
• "... Baby One More Time" was the Britney Spears megahit of 1998. A 0.23% gain would have changed the hit to "... Baby One-point-zero-zero-two-three More Times."

That, finance fans, is what a 0.23% gain means.

TWX closing bell report -- what do the numbers mean? originally appeared on BloggingStocks on Fri, 28 Apr 2006 18:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.