The idea that parents should pay for their children's college education is widely seen as conventional wisdom -- after all, isn't that what those 529 plans are for? And Upromise, the program where buying groceries helps you put money away for your children's future?

I was a believer too until I read Ben Stein and Phil DeMuth's book Yes You Can Get a Financial Life! There, the authors argue that a college education is a capital asset and that it makes the most sense for the beneficiary of that asset to foot the bill. Stein and DeMuth believe that kids who pay for college may value it more, and that student loans and work-study programs are available to make it possible for kids to go to college without parental support.

And as they wrote, "If Mom and Dad really believe they are doing something noble by depriving themselves so their kids can stay out all night drinking in Nassau during spring vacation, that has little do with rational thought."

But do Americans really want to do that?

Okay, I admit it somewhat sheepishly, I send my kids to private school. It's easy to justify since I live in an urban neighborhood where the district public schools just aren't all that well-regarded. And man, my kids' elementary school is nice. Large, sunny classrooms, awesome teachers, great facilities and "specials" galore like gym, art, music, foreign languages. The kids love it.

There's only one problem. The place is expensive. And my husband and I struggle to scrape together the cash each year. It is a large percentage of our income, making those little extra charges incurred at public schools (See "Top Five Most Annoying School Costs") like fundraisers and pricey class photos, seem like chump change.

I can forgo the larger apartment, flat-screen TV and the new car. But what really worries me can be summed up in one word: College. We have lots of friends who do send their kids to public school. Their kids are doing just fine -- and better yet -- the parents are actually setting money aside for their college tuitions!

Sure, we set up a 529b plan for my oldest daughter, and it is quietly and slowly growing these days -- even without funds being added each year as we intended. And I keep meaning to set one up for my second child. I will someday, too.

I hope it will turn out, as the principal of their school asserts, that the kids are getting such a great educational foundation that spending so much money on elementary school will make sense in the long run. Ripping them out of a school they love certainly doesn't seem like a good choice right now.

And I wonder, if we hadn't chosen that expensive school, would I really have saved a bunch more for their college? Maybe a little more. Or maybe I'd just have a nicer apartment, car and flat-screen TV.