According to Advertising Age, the wake for broadcast television networks will be delayed a bit. Last week the big four finished pre-sale of advertising for the next season, and their estimated haul of $9.2 billion is up about 5% over the 2006-7 season.

Leading the pack was CBS Corp (NYSE: CBS) at $2.45 billion, followed closely by ABC (Walt Disney, NYSE: DIS). NBC (General Electric's NBC (NYSE: GE) lagging badly in ratings all season, brought home only $1.8 billion, finishing behind Fox (News Corp, NYSE: NWS) at $1.9 billion.

I'd guess it was these results that caused NBC to break the piggy bank open yesterday to win the Paris Hilton stakes. According to the New York Times, ABC's bid of $100,000 for the fleshpot's first post-jail interview was trounced by NBC. According to the Times, Barbara Walters said NBC offered in excess of $750,000 for the interview, to be conducted by the Today Show's Meredith Vieira.

If Ms. Hilton is not, as she claims, as dumb as she appears, she might realize $750 grand will cover the cost of one hell of a good chauffeur. And a few pair of BVDs.

General Electric (NYSE: GE) shareholders, listen up ... you may have a grievance or two for the next shareholder meeting with regard to how certain company divisions are spending their money. Today's New York Post reports that GE unit NBC Network has agreed to shell out up to $1 million for Paris Hilton's first televised interview once she is sprung from her time in the big house. Rumors from within the walls range from Paris finding religion, vowing to never drink and drive again (should she be applauded for deciding to simply follow the law?), and deciding to forgo her "dumb" act for a more mature persona.

The interview (I'm guessing, full of softball questions) will be conducted by Today Show co-host Meredith Vieira (per Paris' request) on the day (reportedly sometime next week) after the Hilton Hotels (NYSE: HLT) heiress is sprung. The Walt Disney Co.'s (NYSE: DIS) ABC Networks was assuming it had the rights to the first post-jail interview because its first lady of journalism, Barbara Walters, has become close with Paris's mom, Kathy, and has even talked to Paris during her incarceration. According to the Post, ABC was evidently the front-runner until NBC's president made a personal appeal to Paris' father.

People, we've got a years-long war going on. Environmental concerns are increasing, the cost of oil is crippling many, the housing market is in shambles. And did I mention the country has hardly been more divided? Why is this famous-for-being-famous vapid girl consuming so much of our nation's time, mental energy, and other resources? Well, I'm writing up this story, knowing people will want to read it, so I just answered my own question (although the bigger question of why Miss Hilton has created this perpetuating cycle of intrigue still remains).

Beth Gaston Moon is an analyst at Schaeffer's Investment Research.