Normal tech support phone call: "Press 1 for help with e-mail. Press 2 to have your password reset."

Madoff tech support phone call: "Hello, how can I help you dummy up some trading records today?"

The investigation of Bernie Madoff's fraudulent financial empire is leading to more arrests. Jerome O'Hara and George Perez, both computer programmers employed by the Ponzi schemer, were arrested by the FBI on Friday morning. The charges include conspiracy for falsifying books and records. They are accused of doing the deed for the boss and accepting hush money -- in the form of 25% raises and net bonuses of $60,000 -- to keep the scam afloat.

What do you get for the person who has everything? Well, maybe you buy him a piece of history. The U.S. Marshals Service has done all the hard work, and now you can take advantage of it... maybe even at discount prices! Possessions seized from Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff are set to go under the gavel in New York City on Saturday, so bring your checkbook and your appetite for luxury. The money will be used to compensate the victims of Madoff's crimes.

Allen Stanford gets kicked around, but Bernie Madoff can clearly throw down some serious smack. While the former's being moved from one facility to another because he's lost some ground on the cell block, Madoff just earned himself some props.

The engineer of the largest (known) Ponzi scheme in history apparently got into an argument with another geriatric inmate at the Butner, North Carolina federal prison. Of course, it was over the stock market. Does it really make sense to outmaneuver a guy who never needed to know what the market was doing to deliver double-digit returns?

Well, push came to shove, as they say, with the "attacker" stumbling and looking up at a mean, mean Madoff. He got up and ran off.

Anne Lacombe, spokeswoman for the Corcoran Group, a real estate broker involved in the transaction, said the home was under contract for more than asking but did not have information on the exact amount, buyer or closing date, according to the Associated Press.

Frank DiPascali, CFO to convicted fraudster Bernard Madoff, turned in a guilty plea yesterday, as expected. He fessed up to ten charges, including securities fraud, conspiracy, falsifying records and international money laundering. "It was all fictitious," he said, admitting that he "knew it was wrong at the time." Yet, he didn't say a word about anyone other than Madoff.

Each of the charges carries a term of five to 20 years in prison, not to mention fines of up to $5 million. But his cooperation is expected to lessen the blow a bit, though we'll have to wait until at least May 2010 to find out what the outcome will be. We don't even know if DiPascali will be able to wait for sentencing from his own home -- nothing on bail has been determined. The prosecution has asked for a $2.5 million bond, secured by equity in DiPascali's sister's home and co-signed by "three financially responsible individuals," according to a Reuters report.

The May sentencing date suggests that prosecutors will be willing to deal, based on the information DiPascali provides in the interim. District Judge Richard Sullivan, as well, hopes that information will be forthcoming, which he expressed to one of the victims who spoke at the hearing.

David Friehling is only the second person to face criminal charges in the Bernard Madoff debacle. He served as Madoff's auditor from 1991 to 2008, though it's hard to say if they'll resume their relationship as cellies. For now, Friehling has only been charged (innocent until proven guilty, and such) with securities fraud, abetting investment adviser fraud and filing false reports with the SEC. On five of the six charges filed, he faces a 20-year maximum.

It's alleged that Friehling didn't conduct "meaningful" audits while in Madoff's employ, despite issuing reports saying that he'd done his job -- which paid close to $15,000 a month (no work for big pay . . . where do I sign up?). In particular, he's said to have not bothered to verify Madoff's business assets, revenue sources or bank accounts. This is no-brainer stuff for an auditor.