Here, in Cincinnati, we have about an inch of snow on the ground this morning. However, the East Coast is getting hammered and officials have advised residents to stay inside. With 20 inches of snow falling from the sky and piling up, not only are residents of the East Coast feeling the pinch, but it is possible retailers do as well. If denizens of the coast pay attention to the warnings, it could put a major crimp in last-minute Christmas shopping.

Retailer Target (TGT) has announced that it will open an hour earlier and remain open until midnight in Virginia, Maryland, D.C., New Jersey, Delaware, and Connecticut (along with some stores in Pennsylvania, New York, and Massachusetts) beginning today through Wednesday. The retailer announced this plan in order to give its patrons "more opportunity to make all their holiday purchases."

Vice-President Dick Cheney, he of the fourth branch of government, may be getting a new neighbor at his St. Michaels, MD estate -- he of the second branch of homo sapiens, Michael Jackson.

The Washington Post confirmed yesterday that that Thriller has been shopping the tony East Coast for a possible holiday home, a place to get away from the stress of Dubai. The St. Michaels area is already home to another public pariah, Donald Rumsfeld, who owns the all-too-appropriately named estate Mt. Misery (aka Guantanamo North).

I expect the local residents would open up their arms to Jackson and his entourage, if only to hold him securely while they apply New Jersey boots (the cement kind) to his feet. (And his little monkey, too). If that doesn't work, look for the Vice-President to invite him out for a little hunting.

Probably not coincidently, Jackson is due to release a new album later this year, his first in many years, under his own label.

Perhaps Jackson would be better advised to build his own gated community so he can hand-select his neighbors. I'd think O.J., Robert Blake, and Gary Glitter would be up for a time-share.