News Corp (NYSE:NWS) today announced that it will revamp its Fox Business Network lineup in response to recent viewership reports showing that Americans would rather undergo a cavity search than watch the shows.

Drawing upon inspiration from its successful Fox Entertainment division, we hear that a number of new programs are under consideration:

• Homer Nose Business -- a "Simpsons" take on making 'd'oh' in the food and beverage industries, with field reporters Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Jr. and Moe Szyslak.
• 24:00 Stocks -- Kiefer Sutherland hosts a new studio show in which CEOs of tanking corporations are subjected to waterboarding and other amusing non-torture interview techniques in order to extract crucial investor information.
• American Idle --The 'idle rich' report by Paris Hilton, featuring the latest exposés directly from the wellspring of the trickle-down economy.
• Prison Break-- Five-minute updates hosted by Andrew Fastow, Conrad Black and Lou Pearlman, live from their offices in U.S. Federal government facilities.

Making movies based on long-running television shows is nothing new. Hollywood has cashed in big-time on the Charlie's Angels, Mission: Impossible and Muppets franchises, for example. With The Simpsons Movie however, 20th Century Fox -- a division of News Corp (NYSE: NWS) -- is attempting something different.

Most TV-to-cinema transitions have offered an expansion of the television content, taking the mundane storylines and effects and dramatically upgrading them, giving new dimension and backstory to the characters, pushing them several orders of magnitude beyond their 23" version. The eyeball kicks and surround sound add a thrilling dimension to even the most mundane flat-screen entertainment.

The Simpsons, however, has no such potential. Early reviews have consistently referenced the television-scope frame that the film continues: same characters, same town, same comedy, just more of it. The infusion of famous names wasn't an option to elevate the show beyond the cromulent, either; the show has lampooned, both through cameos and voice doubles, hundreds of the famous and fatuous, from Michael Jackson to Stephen Hawking. Even entering the third dimension wouldn't have broken new ground for the cast, as they invaded both it and the "real" world in my all-time favorite episode, Homer3, a spoof on the math novel Flatland.

This weekend's opening results, then, will be watched with great interest by both the television and movie industry, to see just how low the bar can be set in transitioning content from TV to cinema. I'm guessing the results will be rather disappointing for 20th Century, as moviegoers will want more for their movie D'oh than two hours of Sunday night Fox entertainment.

In the immortal words of Homer S., "Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try."