This post is part of our Battle of the Brands feature. Let us know which brand you prefer, and check out other Battle of the Brands posts.

The battle between QVC and HSN is really about celebrity entrepreneurs.

QVC counts the likes of Joan Rivers and Marie Osmond in its stable of shills. Suzanne Somers and Susan Lucci hock their wares on HSN, which is owned by Barry Diller's IAC/InterActiveCorp (NASDAQ: IACI) conglomerate.

Somewhere around the 1980s or 1990s, Rivers lost her sense of shame and began opening up about everything, including her numerous plastic surgeries. Rivers still is hysterical. Typical is a recent blog post about Passover in which she joked that people eat Matzo (unleavened bread) "Because, you pig, you inherited your mother's big, fat thighs and you should lay off the carbs for at least one day every year."

Anyway, you just gotta love Rivers. She's survived her husband's suicide, the scorn of Johnny Carson and the ridicule of celebrities on the red carpet. Granted that I won't be buying products such as the Joan Rivers Lilly of the Valley Bee Pin, which according to the QVC website "shines with orange and green epoxy enamel and cream simulated pearls as the buds."

Sounds lovely, no?

I had a notion once to start a guerrilla marketing company, offering to destroy competing brands by dressing the ugliest, most loathsome people I could find in that competing brand's product.

Now, I don't mean to suggest that Dean Cain (Superboy) or G.W. Bush (Superpresidenter guy) fall into that category, but Crocs Inc. (NASDAQ: CROX) has to be a little concerned when the brand shows up on C-list actors and unpopular politicians.

This caused me to jot down a list of Crocs-killers -- people who, by adopting the footwear, could trash the brand. In no particular order --

• Kim Il Jong
• Larry King
• Ziggy
• Mike Tyson
• Osama bin Laden (only in U.S., however)
• Draco Malfoy
• Joan Rivers
• Al Gore
• Tom Barlow (if you knew me, you'd understand.)

There's a reason trendy nightclubs have doormen to weed out us dweebs. Perhaps Crocs should consider the same.

Former Latin students of the world:

Salvete! I have good news!

No, your Latin teacher didn't actually give herself a lethal paper cut on your shoddy translation of Virgil's Aeneid. And, no, your local school board didn't finally decide that Latin was, in fact, "dead enough" to give up on trying to teach it.

But it's almost as good. Earlier today, Warner Bros. movie studio, a unit of Time Warner, announced plans to remake the old Latin class stand-by Clash of the Titans. The original feature film, which follows the codpiece-wearing hero, Perseus, as he fights monsters and Medusa, to save the beautiful Princess Andromeda. Andromeda, in typical princess style, spends most of the movie chained up to a rock, waiting to be rescued by the divinely chartered hero.