Good news, owners of TWX stock! Not only are you going to enjoy the benefits of more reality television, more syndicated re-runs and more pithy "commentary" from observers like myself, you're also going to be getting a nickel.

That's right, yesterday, the Board of Directors of Time Warner declared that owners of Common Stock will receive $0.05 a share, in cash, on June 15, 2006.

Huzzah!

So, the big question is, how many shares of stock would I have to own (which I don't---I don't own any TWX) in order to take advantage of the following Warner entertainment options:

Forget about taxi drivers, muggers, Christo installations, and/or Matt Lauer. There's a new reason to avoid New York: Broadway's newest vampire musical.

"Lestat" -- which has been uniformly savaged by the Washington Post, the New York Times and even the mighty Star-Ledger of Newark, New Jersey -- was supposed to be Warner Brothers' challenge to Disney's many successes in the Broadway musicals ("The Lion King," "Tarzan," "Aida" and others). 

Coming in on the heels of two other failed vampire musicals -- "Dance of the Vampires" (2002) and "Dracula, the Musical" (2004) -- "Lestat" is based on Anne Rice's vampire novels, and it boasts otherworldly powers that would make the undead blush: a reported bankroll of up to $12 million and songwriting by Elton John.

Unfortunately, neither deep pockets nor the powerhouse behind "Crocodile Rock" could help. Ben Brantley, in the New York Times, called it a "musical sleeping pill" ... and his review was charitable by comparison. 

"I vant to suck your blood" is a line for old-school vampires. "I vant to suck the life out of this production" is apparently how the new generation of vampires rolls.