When I was in high school, every cool kid had a half-a-dozen pairs of The Gap Inc. (NYSE:GPS) jeans. We'd go shopping in their stores around Christmas season and see four or five of our classmates behind the register, and another 20 or 30 among the customers. In college, Abercrombie & Fitch Co. (NYSE:ANF) became my new aspirational casual retailer of choice, and I could pick their iconic striped sweaters and slim cargo pants out of any crowd.

But now? Gap and Abercrombie, we are so over you!

Amey Stone and I were IM-ing, trying to figure out why this was. We had lots of ideas, firstly, as Amey said, "maybe it's those half-naked men standing in the doorway that are scaring off mothers with young children." This makes sense on a lot of levels. When I was a college kid, the half-naked men were the perfect sex symbol. But the target audience for these clothes has gotten both younger (12- and 13-year-old girls instead of college kids), and older (moms like Amey and me who used to be hot for the half-naked). If the younger set are shopping, in today's increasingly protective culture, they're doing it with mom -- and mom isn't about to bring her 12-year-old into a store that clearly sells sex alongside the sweaters.

As for the older set, we moms with two or three very young children? The last thing we want to see is a half-naked man, even if he's exceptionally cute. Let's be frank. Our libidos are 1/10th of their normal selves thanks to the hormones involved in child-rearing. We'll stick with the J. Crews and the safe boutiques, with the cute little frog umbrellas and not the clothes that make our eight-year-olds look like they're trying out for America's Next Top Swimsuit Model.