"Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd ... Buy me some peanuts and ... tofu dogs?"

Several years ago, if you were a baseball fan and a vegetarian, you were practically out of luck, left to dine on nachos, French fries, and the occasional cotton candy. But as we are becoming a less carnivorous society, some ballparks are choosing to adapt, adding veggie-friendly items to their menus.

Last week, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) released its list of the top 10 vegetarian ballparks. Making the list were Citizens Bank Park, home of the Phillies, as well as AT&T (NYSE: T) Park, where the San Francisco Giants play, and Atlanta's Turner Field - home of the Brave(s).

This post is part of our Ads Gone Bad series. Share your thoughts and memories of this ad in the comments, and be sure to check out our other posts on marketing gone wrong.

Verizon made an ad this summer showing a guy scaling a junkyard fence to get his hands on an LG Dare phone, only to run into two junkyard dogs -- chained and snarling pit bulls. Pit bull lovers didn't like the casual depiction of animal neglect and cruelty. Animal rights groups have been working for a long time to stop people from chaining up dogs in their yard, abusing them and generally using them as a street weapon.

Verizon at first insisted that it would keep running the ad. Then concerned dog owners got the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals involved. PETA first tried to talk with Verizon and explain why the ad annoyed people: the dogs in the commercial had ears docked in a "fight crop" and pit bulls are the most abused breed of dogs.

Verizon refused to meet to discuss the situation, PETA says. So they put out an action alert. After Verizon got 7,000 e-mails from angry animal lovers, they took down the ad.

See other examples of Ads Gone Bad.

In the battle of the fast food restaurants, it's hardly ever about taste or service or quality: it's all about perception (and as my former car salesman boss says, perception is reality). So when I saw the news this week about how CKE Restaurants (NYSE: CKR) restaurants, Hardee's and Carl's Jr., have agreed to start purchasing a very small percentage of their pork and eggs from cage-free animals, I was wowed at the headlines. "Cage-free eggs!" an email from a colleague read.



Why is this the funnest news all month? Because of the very famous pin-up girls involved in the dispute. Paris Hilton is, after all, famous for her extremely sexy Carl's Jr. ads (I'd venture to say they are the pinnacle of her sordid career). Alicia Silverstone has made headlines with her racy PETA ads that were pulled off the air thanks to their nearly-naked nature. So in the cage match between Paris Hilton and Alicia Silverstone, I could have called it: smart Alicia whooped Paris' lingerie-clad booty with a (slightly happier) hen.

Things are bigger down in Texas. Especially controversies that blend beef with cheesecake.

Thirty-year-old B-list actress Alicia Silverstone (of Clueless fame) did a commercial for controversial animal rights group PETA recently. In it, the actress, an animal rights activist and recent convert to vegetarianism, climbs out of a pool to seductive music. She offers the camera various come hither-looks as she drips dry, and in an inane voiceover, tells the camera about how her life has changed since she's become a vegetarian.

I suppose the idea is to show us how good she looks, now that she's no longer eating meat. Too bad being a vegetarian hasn't boosted her vocabulary. "It's so amazing!" Is it now? I'm so convinced.

I like the idea of socially responsible investing (SRI). Many socially responsible funds have amassed terrific track records, and the values-based philosophy will appeal to many investors who otherwise might not be as interested in the market. But with the popularity of SRI on the rise, it's no surprise that some funds will use the SRI moniker to generate interest, although they really aren't providing a a good product for investors.

A case in point would appear to be Integrity Mutual Funds, discussed in a column by Lawrence Carrel over at TheStreet. The fund is tiny, with just $46 million in assets, and I am impressed with the manager's commitment to social justice. He even speaks with PETA to learn about how companies treat animals!

Here's the problem with the fund, summed up by Carrel: "The fund charges a steep front-end load of 5.75%, which tops Lipper's average maximum load of 5.28%. Its expense ratio is 1.56%, topping Lipper's median expense ratio of 1.21%."

In a perhaps somewhat misguided turn that could make carnivores out of the strictest vegetarians (I'm kidding, folks), animal-rights group PETA is considering signing the polarizing Paris Hilton as its latest spokeswoman.

Playing on the fact that the Hilton Hotels (NYSE: HLT) heiress and party girl is currently spending time behind bars, PETA officials hope Ms. Hilton grows to empathize with chickens and other animals who live out their days in cramped, confined spaces.

A PETA spokesperson told MSNBC's gossip columnist that "We're asking Paris to narrate our Kentucky Fried Cruelty video showing how chickens are routinely crammed into tiny cages and suffer broken wings and legs ... unlike inmates at the jail in L.A., these animals get no reprieve or medical treatment."

The group even has the tag line sewn up "KFC - that's not hot." My opinion? That's not creative, and the Yum! Brands (NYSE: YUM) chain should have nothing to worry about. While the ethical treatment of animals is an important issue, perhaps a more sympathetic, thoughtful spokesperson would better convey the severity of the problem. KFC officials say their chicken is purchased from suppliers such as Tyson Foods (NYSE: TSN) and Perdue Farms, which are all routinely monitored for animal welfare violations.

While Paris has yet to respond, PETA is encouraged by the precedent of Martha Stewart narrating an anti-fur video after her incarceration.

Beth Gaston Moon is an analyst at Schaeffer's Investment Research.

The next meeting of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) will kick off with a Coca-Cola Co. (NYSE: KO) toast. I jest, with my tongue firmly in my cheek, but the animal-rights group is pleased to hear that the cola giant, along with its chief competitor PepsiCo Inc. (NYSE: PEP), has vowed to curb animal testing.

Today's New York Times reported that specifically, the soft-drink titans will stop directly financing research that employs animal research in either testing or product development. The exception to this move is when animal testing is required by law.

PETA researchers appealed to KO and PEP after learning that the companies were financing studies that used laboratory animals, including chimpanzees and rats, for taste tests and to "bolster support for promotional health claims." A PETA spokesperson told the Times that "We see these statements from Coke and Pepsi, massive global conglomerates, as the beginning of the end of all animal tests on food."

I wonder how long such testing has been going on ... were animals forced to sample New Coke in the mid-1980s? Or Crystal Pepsi in the early 90s? Talk about animal cruelty.

Beth Gaston Moon is an analyst at Schaeffer's Investment Research.

If animal-rights gurus constitute a sizable chunk of the fast-food demographic, Burger King Holdings Inc. (NYSE: BKC) just scored a major victory. On Tuesday, the company announced that it would start buying eggs and pork from suppliers that do not confine their animals in cages and crates. Furthermore, according to the New York Times:

The company said that it would also favor suppliers of chickens that use gas, or "controlled-atmospheric stunning," rather than electric shocks to knock birds unconscious before slaughter. It is considered a more humane method, though only a handful of slaughterhouses use it.

The company is hoping that, within the next two months, two percent of its eggs and 10% of its pork will come from farms that allow the animals greater mobility. Most interesting, the company does not anticipate raising prices as a result of the change. The announcement comes after meetings with the Humane Society and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

It will be interesting to see the reverberations of this move throughout the industry. A large company like Burger King has the power to set the bar for corporate responsibility and I would look for other restaurants, large and small, to follow its lead.

Large corporations have the power to change the world for better or for worse. If companies like Burger King and McDonald's Corp. (NYSE: MCD) decide to ramp up environmental/humane practices, they can make a big difference. Bravo to BK for doing the right thing.

Television and tabloid star Pamela Anderson has angrily renounced KFC's campaign for a U.S. postage stamp honoring founder Colonel Sanders. Yum! Brands Inc. (NYC:YUM) launched a petition in October asking the U.S. Postal Service to recognize Sander's entrepreneurial spirit with a postage stamp, a symbol of government inefficiency.

Anderson, a longtime animal-rights advocate and spokeswoman for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), has been a harsh critic of the conditions under which chickens are raised for the deep-fryer.

If KFC's campaign is successful, the Colonel will join such recent dignitaries as Wonder Woman, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Cinderella and Judy Garland on our postage stamps.

I wonder if the post office would be more receptive to a series honoring the heroes of fast food, such as Dave Thomas, Ray Kroc, Roy Rogers, and the unknown creator of the fish taco.

For such a series, I'd suggest, instead of conventional glue, they could simply spill a little Coke on the back of each stamp.

The Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine is suing a handful of fast-food restaurant chains that include Burger King Holdings, Inc (NYSE: BKC) and McDonald's Corporation (NYSE: MCD) for serving grilled chicken that they claim is carcinogenic. The PCRM is saying that chicken products from these chains were tested and found to test positive for certain carcinogenic compounds.

The Center for Consumer Freedom begs to differ about the PCRM's claims and points out the PCRM is not a mainstream health organization, with one of PCRM's primary aims including making all Americans eat vegetarian. You can see PCRM's website dismissing animal protein as a viable food source here, and if you take the time to wander through the site, it's the only diet ever recommended, making the CCF's claim that the PCRM is a somewhat radicalized PETA/Animal rights group gone a bit far something to take seriously.

There's a further interesting note. The PCRM does not compare regularly grilled chicken from home (ie on your own BBQ grill) to the rates of carcinogens found in the fast food restaurant. It's not a secret that charred food contains a small number of carcinogens in it. PCRM does not say if fast food charring has more than a burnt piece of chicken you cooked yourself or not. PCRM is certainly trying to use scare tactics to alter American eating habits, and its being untruthful (or at least very disingenuous) in its presentation of the issue. A big problem for the fast food chains? No, your stock will probably not be affected by this bogus suit.

But I propose a test. Let's get Morgan Spurlock (of Supersize Me fame) to eat nothing but grilled chicken from fast food restaurants for a month and see how his health is affected...

Tobias Buckell is an author, freelancer, and professional blogger who does not own securities in McDonalds or Burger King.