Can someone please stop Hank Paulson from wasting more taxpayer money? Steve Forbes -- a failed 2000 presidential candidate I met a few weeks after 9/11 -- has called Paulson the worst Treasury Secretary in modern times. Now, Paulson wants to launch the fourth reincarnation of the Troubled Asset Recovery Plan (TARP) by buying securities consisting of bundles of consumer loans. In his effort to appear to be helping consumers, he is simply launching another failed Wall Street bailout.

Here's how I view the four reincarnations of TARP:

• TARP 1.0 was to take $700 billion to buy toxic waste from Wall Street in reverse auctions. As Paulson said, America needed to pass this plan to avoid heavenly retribution. But the plan was DOA for reasons I posted about here.
• TARP 2.0 involved buying equity stakes in banks -- the U.S. spent $159 billion for preferred shares in 24 banks. But the banks are holding onto the money and not lending it out. Perhaps they'll use it to pay $26.6 billion worth of bonuses. That's rich -- using taxpayer money to help out the people who got us into this mess.
• TARP 3.0 was the plan to cover losses on $277 billion worth of Citigroup 's (NYSE: C) toxic waste while using $20 billion in cash to buy $27 billion worth of preferred stock yielding 8% along with warrants on 254 million shares at $10.61. Expect more of these deals as Citi competitors complain of a tilted playing field and Paulson scrambles to accommodate them. But with Citi, the U.S. protected Prince Alwaleed's common shares, other banks might not be so lucky.

Forbes -- which was formerly known as The Capitalist Tool -- is reportedly on the verge of being sold to a Russian Oligarch by the name of Mikhail Prokhorov. It turns out that the Russian idea of capitalism is a bit different than the Western one. But that doesn't stop Forbes from taking Russia's cash.

As I posted, Russia is happy to accept Western money. But once Russia has the Western money, it gets rid of the Westerners who brought in the loot. In the U.S., we have our own special brand of capitalism which rewards the richest of the rich with eight figure bonuses by borrowing $30 for every $1 of capital to close huge deals, while the taxpayers cover the deals' losses.

The Forbes sale -- if it goes through for an estimated $625 million to $750 million -- would be tinged with a sad irony. That's because its former Russian bureau chief, Paul Klebnikov, was gunned down in July 2004 after his investigative reporting into oligarchs like Prokhorov made them nervous. The biggest beneficiary of this sale will be Elevation Partners -- which includes U2's Bono -- based on the 40% stake it bought in Forbes for $250 million.

It's a beautiful day for Bono, but a strange one for Forbes and Capitalism.

Peter Cohan is President of Peter S. Cohan & Associates. He also teaches management at Babson College and edits The Cohan Letter.

News Corp (NYSE:NWS) today announced that it will revamp its Fox Business Network lineup in response to recent viewership reports showing that Americans would rather undergo a cavity search than watch the shows.

Drawing upon inspiration from its successful Fox Entertainment division, we hear that a number of new programs are under consideration:

• Homer Nose Business -- a "Simpsons" take on making 'd'oh' in the food and beverage industries, with field reporters Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Jr. and Moe Szyslak.
• 24:00 Stocks -- Kiefer Sutherland hosts a new studio show in which CEOs of tanking corporations are subjected to waterboarding and other amusing non-torture interview techniques in order to extract crucial investor information.
• American Idle --The 'idle rich' report by Paris Hilton, featuring the latest exposés directly from the wellspring of the trickle-down economy.
• Prison Break-- Five-minute updates hosted by Andrew Fastow, Conrad Black and Lou Pearlman, live from their offices in U.S. Federal government facilities.