Being in the constant presence of three very little boys (five years, two years, and three months old), and spending a huge portion of my spare time obsessing over mommy media, I have read a lot of articles along the lines of Leslie Bennett's new The Feminine Mistake. You take your working mom, you compare her to a highly-educated stay-at-home. You worry about how the at-home mom is losing her identity, her control over her finances, her ability to escape the relationship should it not end happily ever after. You wonder if the working mom is ignoring the loving care of her children, the fund raising development of her PTA, the feeding of the home fires.

Moms are (Bennett and so many others argue) giving up their right to membership in Future Highly-Paid Executives of America if they stay at home. And most importantly: they'll give up their fat retirement fund. What should happen if daddy dearest leaves you for his secretary, PR professional, Donna Karan-clad boss? It's social security and a mother-in-law apartment for you.

I work from home, neatly placing myself right on the divide in this debate. I can't side with the at-home moms; I do have adults to interact with on issues of importance all day long, and besides, I don't have time to side with them. I can't align myself with the working moms; after all, I do get to spend time with my kids all day, I pick up from school, I am far too familiar with the intricacies of the Berenstain Bears series. And I don't have time to go out to lunch with them.

There's only one problem with Bennett's argument: it only makes sense if it's masculine, too. Is there a "Masculine Mistake" for dads who stay home?

My wife and I met at USC where we both went to architecture school. She is a licensed architect and accredited in LEED (TM) sustainable design. We both worked for others for a while and then started our own practice. Before we had children that was the natural progression of things.

When our first child was born she reduced her hours from about 35 hours a week to about 30. When the second was born she further reduced her hours and by the time the third was born she was working about 18 hours a week. Eventually she decided to stay at home and manage the household full time. She also works in the community, reads avidly and has time to expand her religious interests. She prefers that to the trials and tribulations of the business world.

She enjoyed being an architect, but she hated business. I thrive in both, although there is much to do in business that is not rewarding. Our youngest is eleven, and my wife may return to work when it pleases her. There was a time when her contribution to the family income made a difference, but that time has long since past.

The new book "The Feminine Mistake" weighs in by trying to make the case that mothers assume too much of a financial and career risk if they stay at home to raise the kids. I think this is ridiculous!