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Being in the constant presence of three very little boys (five years, two years, and three months old), and spending a huge portion of my spare time obsessing over mommy media, I have read a lot of articles along the lines of Leslie Bennett's new The Feminine Mistake. You take your working mom, you compare her to a highly-educated stay-at-home. You worry about how the at-home mom is losing her identity, her control over her finances, her ability to escape the relationship should it not end happily ever after. You wonder if the working mom is ignoring the loving care of her children, the fund raising development of her PTA, the feeding of the home fires.

Moms are (Bennett and so many others argue) giving up their right to membership in Future Highly-Paid Executives of America if they stay at home. And most importantly: they'll give up their fat retirement fund. What should happen if daddy dearest leaves you for his secretary, PR professional, Donna Karan-clad boss? It's social security and a mother-in-law apartment for you.

I work from home, neatly placing myself right on the divide in this debate. I can't side with the at-home moms; I do have adults to interact with on issues of importance all day long, and besides, I don't have time to side with them. I can't align myself with the working moms; after all, I do get to spend time with my kids all day, I pick up from school, I am far too familiar with the intricacies of the Berenstain Bears series. And I don't have time to go out to lunch with them.

There's only one problem with Bennett's argument: it only makes sense if it's masculine, too. Is there a "Masculine Mistake" for dads who stay home?

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'The Feminine Mistake' only makes sense if it's masculine, too originally appeared on BloggingStocks on Wed, 03 Oct 2007 18:14:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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