Even though I have an "Alpha Mom" t-shirt, I'm afraid I really fall into the "Slacker Mom" (or "Beta Mom") camp. Do I want what's best for my children? Sure, but I'm not going to give up my career or my sanity to get it. I'll admit it: I let my kids see my cry, and sometimes when I'm in a particularly awful mood I put a DVD on "repeat," lock myself in the bathroom and take a good, lonely soak. While my girlfriends from business school and even my buddy Isabel Kallman (who runs the Alpha Mom network) were taking their three-year-olds to soccer practice and playdates and swimming lessons, I was discovering that I really didn't like singing "The Wheels on the Bus" and trying to convince my own three-year-old that he should go to bed before midnight.According to the USA Today, "There's a backlash brewing ... an anti-Alpha movement is taking hold. Those moms have it together sometimes. They may forget to send back permission slips or lose track of their turn for team snacks ... Some, including former CBS TV news anchor René Syler, have written books advising the Alphas to lighten up." Whenever I see an article starting out with the "backlash" concept, I have to admit, my first reaction is to backlash myself. Not against those perfect moms that I observe, with wonder, from afar (and, yes, sometimes wish weren't quite so perfect). But against the media who's so obviously taking advantage of a couple of marquis moms to brew a controversy that will sell books ... but may not actually reflect the realities of mothering.
The article calls the Alpha Mom a "marketing creation," while in the same breath pitting her against the moms who just don't have it quite so together, who (according to their book titles) let their children run with scissors, and embrace their perfect imperfection.
Like any other media-created divide, it's a fiction, but I can't fault the fiction for having ill will. These Slacker Moms have a kind-and-gentler message: that how a child turns out isn't entirely his mom's fault -- and it certainly won't make a lasting difference if mama forgets to buy candles for his birthday cake or sends him to playgroup with a storebought snack.
If media is going to embrace the not-so-Alpha Moms, I say, hear hear! Up with the Slackers! Here's to moms who don't apologize for neglecting the goodie bags, who accept their inability to sit through Music Together class, who let their kids watch SpongeBob and who don't sweat it if little Braden can't kick a soccer ball to save his life. Here's to discovering the wonder in a piece of trash your two-year-old picks up; here's to enjoying your five-year-old's astonishing tricks with his toy shotgun.
Whoever you are, Alpha, Slacker or in between, here's to holding the awesome task of being nurturer, protector, kisser-of-tears in your hands and not letting go.
Closing Bell: Can't go up every day (BAC, HE, HPW, COMS, BRCD, WMT, AMD)
Wal-Mart grows profit and cash flow in Q3, but comps still ailing
Chasing Value: Ten stocks for 2010 -- Part 2
