In the battle of the fast food restaurants, it's hardly ever about taste or service or quality: it's all about perception (and as my former car salesman boss says, perception is reality). So when I saw the news this week about how CKE Restaurants (NYSE: CKR) restaurants, Hardee's and Carl's Jr., have agreed to start purchasing a very small percentage of their pork and eggs from cage-free animals, I was wowed at the headlines. "Cage-free eggs!" an email from a colleague read.



Why is this the funnest news all month? Because of the very famous pin-up girls involved in the dispute. Paris Hilton is, after all, famous for her extremely sexy Carl's Jr. ads (I'd venture to say they are the pinnacle of her sordid career). Alicia Silverstone has made headlines with her racy PETA ads that were pulled off the air thanks to their nearly-naked nature. So in the cage match between Paris Hilton and Alicia Silverstone, I could have called it: smart Alicia whooped Paris' lingerie-clad booty with a (slightly happier) hen.

Cage-free eggs are the latest forefront in the constant PR campaign of many leading retail companies to be seen as the humanest, the most animal-friendly, the most vigilant about the health of its products. As indication of the bigness of this particular buzz-phrase, several weeks ago, Burger King Holdings Inc. (NYSE: BKC) announced a switch to both cage-free eggs and pork products. So important is the issue that when Portland, Oregon fast food chain Burgerville broadcast their own switch to cage-free, local media cried, when will Starbucks Corporation (NASDAQ: SBUX) switch all the eggs in its products (including its popular breakfast sandwiches) to cage-free?

The answer could be far more muddled than (for instance) the coffee giant's recent changeover to hormone-free milk or trans-fat-free baked goods. Here's the thing: it's not necessarily assured that cage-free eggs are the be-all and end-all of chicken humanity. And the costs go far beyond a little extra space.

This is not to say that I disagree with cage-free eggs, quite the contrary: I recently began raising chickens (Bella, Mathilda and Twitter are now six weeks old, and were recently joined by baby "sisters" Gilda and Genevieve) much because of the considerable health and taste benefits of cage-free eggs. Ideally (and in my own backyard), chickens who are not confined to cages get more exercise and a more balanced diet, including greens (they love blackberry and dandelion leaves). The eggs are therefore packed with good vitamins, making the yolks more orange and the shells sturdier -- whether brown, white, or pinkish.

But not all cage-free chickens are raised equally.