I thought April Fool's Day would be a good time to recap a few of the most foolish urban legends that have circulated about America's businesses.

Procter & Gamble (NYSE: PG) supports devil worship. For many years, conspiracy theory nuts have pointed to P&G's old man-in-the-moon logo as proof that the company supported Satanism. Sadly, it appears that several Amway distributors helped spread the lies, a slander for which P&G won a $19 million award earlier this month.

Marlboro (Altria Group, Inc., NYSE: MO) is owned by the Ku Klux Klan. One proof, according to the website snopes.com, is that by turning the name upside down and reading the first three letters left to right, one can derive the word 'jew'. Then, by turning the remaining letters right-side up and reading them left to right, one gets the combination 'orobl', which believers translate as the word 'horrible'. Put together, the brand name is obviously code for 'horrible jew'. How could it be any clearer?

Costco Wholesale (NASDAQ: COST) is owned by China. How could we have missed the signs? C(hina) O(ff) S(hore) T(rading) C(ompany). Someone should alert NASDAQ (N(on)-A(merican) S(ubsidiary of) D(ubai) A(nd) Q(atar)).

Flesh-eating disease arrives on bananas. The rumor claimed the 'flesh-eating bacteria' causing necrotizing fasciitis had managed to live on the skins of bananas from Costa Rica. Some people actually believed this.

Febreze can kill your pet. Another slam at Procter & Gamble, this false rumor has been floating through the e-world for years. Even the ASPCA is on record denying there is any truth to this rumor.

Altoids (Wrigley (Wm) Jr., NYSE: WWY) enhance oral sex. Who among us hasn't seen video of the effervescence brought about by mixing Mentos and soda? Legend has it that the pleasure of fellatio is similarly heightened when the donor freshens his/her breath with an Altoid beforehand (so to speak). Rumors like this cause me to wonder if some guerrilla marketer for Altoids isn't laughing his or her ass off.

However, the Ersatz Research Institute's clinical trials have proven that reading BloggingStocks.com every day will increase your sexual stamina, clear up your complexion and shave unwanted inches off of your waist. Tell all your friends.

Happy April 1st.