Speedy delivery service United Parcel Service (NYSE: UPS) delivered a mixed bag of third-quarter results on Thursday.

The company reported earnings of 55 cents per share, topping the consensus estimate by two cents per share. While these results were better than the consensus estimate, they are a far cry from the 96 cents per share earned in the same quarter a year ago.

Quarterly sales came in at $11.15 billion, short of the consensus estimate of $11.17 billion and last year's $13.1 billion.

This morning, JPMorgan Chase upgraded FedEx (NYSE: FDX) to "overweight" from "neutral," citing the company's "strong operating leverage" that "should drive performance for the stock when there is improvement in the economy." The brokerage also stated that bad news is already reflected in FDX's stock price. They also upped the dean of delivery's price target to $66 per share from $60 per share.

Is this upgrade a smart move or wishful thinking? I have reservations on a couple of levels, so let's address those, shall we? My first reservation is on a fundamental level. The per-barrel price of oil is rising and could continue to rise, leading to higher gas prices. If this situation occurs, we could see FedEx punished a bit, mainly because of the company's reliance on gasoline. Yes, there is a possibility that FedEx could break its reliance on black gold, but it would take a fleet of hybrid or electric vehicles for this to happen -- and that costs a lot of money.

Hey, FedEx (NYSE: FDX) beat the estimates of Wall Street! That's awesome, right? Not in this case. The nemesis of United Parcel Service (NYSE: UPS) reported Q2 numbers on Thursday, and they didn't matter for the most part. What mattered more was that management seemed to be in a frantic mood over cutting costs and capital expenditures.

According to this article, FedEx only managed to deliver (yes, I used that word on purpose) a four-cent rise in earnings per share; they came in at $1.58, one penny higher than what analysts expected. Problem for FedEx is this lousy economy. The company will have a hard time ensuring that it can deliver (there's that word again) on its promised guidance for the rest of the year. Simply put, if the economy continues to sour, and if confidence doesn't bounce back soon, then there will be less demand for its services. No complex arguments necessary for this thesis, so far as I can tell. I would imagine that it's going to be rough for management to keep employee morale going at an acceptable level with all the cost reductions and job cuts that are being used to navigate the stormy seas. One of the worst problems I see is the minimum one-year freeze on 401(k) company matching contributions that was mentioned in the press release. Seriously, that will be a bitter pill to swallow for many.

I personally would stay away from FedEx's stock. Yes, it is well off its highs, but is all the bad news priced in the stock? My opinion: not on your life. I cannot see how anyone could read that earnings release and subsequently decide to buy shares of the company. The commentary is kind of unnerving, if you ask me. CEO Frederick W. Smith thinks the current financial climate is one of the worst seen in the company's history. Tell us something we didn't already know, buddy! What I find unnerving is that I really don't get a sense that there's any sort of plan beyond the cuts. The company is just looking to survive as best it can. I wish FedEx luck, but I don't want to get involved with the stock. At all.

Disclosure: I don't own any company mentioned; positions can change at any time.

Here in the Portland metropolitan area, 28 bike delivery employees will be hired -- by United Parcel Service (NYSE: UPS). It may seem counterintuitive, but here in Portland, Oregon, where we crazy passionate types embrace bicycling so warmly that monthly group bike rides for kids continue even through the winter, the concept of hauling up to 200 pounds in a trailer with a mountain bike sounds like the perfect holiday vacation. UPS bike drivers will be given special training to really practice pulling 200 pounds and learn, for instance, "safe following distance in rain" (I think if you're following anyone too closely with 200 pounds in your bike trailer, you should be training for the 2012 Olympics, not delivering Amazon.com packages for UPS.)

UPS can only deliver 25-50 packages per day by bicycle, compared to up to 150 by truck, but Portland area spokesman Jeff Grant says UPS will save $38,000 in vehicle operation and upkeep costs for every three delivery bicycles used.



After all, UPS started using bicycles to deliver packages 100 years ago in Seattle, and started a pilot program in Atlanta and Seattle last year. Bicycle delivery is ideal for the holiday season as it allows the company to expand its service without having to expand its fleet of expensive delivery vehicles; bikes are about $600 each, and judging by the reaction to popular biking blogs, the company will have no trouble filling the available jobs with bikers eager to prove their mettle. It's not only sensible economics, but fantastic PR for a company that struggles with a rather stodgy image. Expanding the bike delivery program for all the company's busy seasons would be a fiscally responsible plan that could also pay big dividends in customer good will.

In my Battle of the Brands: UPS vs. FedEx, many people commented on how one company handled remote locations better than the other. If you think Avoca, Minnesota is a "remote location" check out this study.

Each year, students at the Supply Chain & Logistics Institute at Georgia Tech in Atlanta, GA send packages to locations around the world through different parcel carriers and observe the results. This year, the students chose United Parcel Service (NYSE: UPS), FedEx Corp (NYSE: FDX) and Deutsche Post's DHL to deliver five packages to five of the most remote locations on globe:

• Apia, the only city on Upulu, one of the islands of Samoa. Upulu lacks something important for parcel carriers - street addresses.

• Florianopolis, an island off the Brazil near Uraguay, which is considered a "remote area" by carriers.