I may never hear the word "depreciate" without thinking of the late great Michael Hutchence and the INXS half-single, "Mediate." Anyway...

After consulting Kelly Blue Book, arguably the expert on the subject of used cars, Forbes released its list of the eight worst new-model vehicles in terms of projected depreciation. Claiming the dubious top spot is the Buick Ranier SUV. With a base price of $32,285, the vehicle, made by General Motors (NYSE:GM), is expected to retain just 42% of its value after two years. Five years out, the Ranier will be worth about 26% of its purchase price. The Dodge Caravan Minivan, a DaimlerChrysler (NYSE:DCX) vehicle that I'm fairly certain half of my new-Mom friends have purchased in the past 12 months, starts with a base of $19,770 but will keep just 41% of this value 24 months later. Third is the Dodge Durango SUV (pictured, right), with a base price of $27,055 and projected value retention of 38% after two years.

Rounding out the top eight:

• Ford (NYSE:F) Crown Victoria Sedan
• Ford E-Series Van
• Kia Amanti Sedan
• Kia Spectra Compact
• Ford Mercury Grand Marquis

Stay tuned for tips on smart shopping for a vehicle that won't utterly disappoint when it becomes time to trade it in ...

Beth Gaston Moon is an analyst at Schaeffer's Investment Research.