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The new m.o. at Starbucks Corp. (NASDAQ: SBUX) seems to be: give 'em their dour forecasts, then celebrate if the future is not, after all, entirely decaffeinated. After all, the company's stock is already at a low not seen since November 2001; all of the respectable gains of the past seven years have been wiped away. Starbucks stores may be cheerily decked out in holiday colors and decorations, but its management is nothing but sad, downcast, despondent, glum.

In the company's annual report filed yesterday after market close, management provided a Santa-sized list of all the reasons its sales have been down and its expenses up, as well as providing a dim outlook for a future ravaged by poor discretionary spending, stiff competition from low-priced coffee at its fast-food rivals, nasty landlords who won't go gently into the goodnight of store closings, and to top it all off, financially anxious consumers. To blame for 2008: foreclosures, high food prices, and less generous credit card limits.

At the end of this annual report, you have to wonder if coffee is the right business to be in. After all, the beverage isn't known for being a tonic for the depressed (when have you ever heard of a wronged hero drowning his sorrows in coffee?). Maybe Starbucks should look to add a line of moonshine to its offerings; offer it in Venti and "Jug" sizes and send free gift cards to the investors, who are the only people in America who deserve to be as solemn as Starbucks' annual report.

Starbucks: Our future is dimmer than your future! originally appeared on BloggingStocks on Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:55:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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