Most mergers are driven by the notion, sometimes wildly mistaken, that the combination will bring both a competitive advantage. Some pairs of companies, however, seem so intuitively right for one another, no bottom-line considerations should be allowed to interfere with their matrimony. Like a BB gun and an empty bottle, these two were meant for one another.

The funeral industry is one of the last bastions against the pervasive move down-market. Not even Ikea sells a casket. Yet.

There are two American companies, though, that if combined, could offer a new application for a product that people have trusted for decades -- I'm talking, of course, about a Tupperware Casket. I even have a slogan: Burp 'em and bury 'em.

One of Hillenbrand Industries, Inc. (NYSE: HB)'s best holdings is the Batesville Casket Company. While the funeral services portion of HB has enjoyed steady growth, it is now facing possible antitrust charges for allegedly conspiring with funeral home companies to prevent discounters and online retailers from marketing their wares. Pairing up with Tupperware (NYSE: TUP) on a line of budget burial goods might take the teeth out of that charge.

Hillenbrand Industries Inc. (NYSE: HB) recently announced that it will split into two independent publicly traded companies. While this move will most likely be beneficial for investors, it is too bad for those favoring comic irony. How can one not like a company that markets itself as both a health care company through its Hill-Rom unit as well as a death-care company through its Batesville Casket unit? The company will get you coming and going. But the numbers for Hillenbrand haven't been good for the past few quarters, so management had to make some move to stop the flow of red ink.

The 3Q 2007 numbers released earlier this month paint a distressing picture overall. Revenues were up 5% to $494 million, but net income declined by 31% to $35.7 million. Hillenbrand missed Wall Street's guesstimated EPS of $0.68 by $0.02, not a big deal, but the stock has been out of favor for a while. There are few growth prospects in the U.S. for Hillenbrand's living or dead customers. Hill-Rom Health Care posted a sales increase of 12.8% for the quarter, but only 1.7% of that growth was in the U.S. Hill-Rom continues to lose money on its medical bed product lines in the U.S, due to decreasing reimbursements from Medicare and private insurers. On the positive side, Hill-Rom recently entered into an agreement to supply medical bed frames and other movable medical equipment to hospitals in Japan, the world's second-largest medical goods market after the U.S. Hill-Rom is also aggressively moving into medical equipment markets in the Middle East and Latin America.

Hillenbrand's dead customers are not enough to keep Batesville Casket Company alive in its current form. Casket sales were flat as more people opted for cremation or more ecologically-sensitive burials. Batesville Casket has introduced a new line of lower-priced caskets, but the company's profit margins continue to be squeezed by rising steel prices. CEO Peter Soderberg expects 4Q revenues to decline even further, and operating expenses to increase, beyond the planned February 2008 separation of the two companies. The stock has done absolutely nothing for months, opening the year trading at $56.70, and closing Thursday at $56.95.