Pity the hapless ex-CEO who has to explain to the U.S. Congress how he got millions for failing at his job. It's like the person in the horror movie who doesn't realize that a bad guy is lurking in the dark woods even though that's clearly indicated by the scary music. In this case, the knife-wielding psycho Jason Voorhees is being played by Rep. Henry "I haven't met a microphone I didn't like" Waxman (D-CA).

What did former Countywide Financial Corp. (NYSE: CFC) Chief Executive Angelo Mozilo, former Citigroup Inc. (NYSE: C) CEO Charles Prince and former Merrill Lynch & Co. (NYSE: MER) head Stan O'Neal expect to happen? That they would finally be able to tell their "side" of the story? That they would be able to counteract media perceptions that they are a bunch of greedy pigs who were rewarded for their incompetence? Apparently, these once mighty kings of the boardroom were that deluded.

Mozilo was the most outrageous, telling the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform that, "In short, as our company did well, I did well." The Wall Street Journal (subscription required) noted that Waxman, who locked horns recently with baseball great Roger Clemens, wasn't buying it.

Former Merrill Lynch & Co. (NYSE: MER) Chief Executive Stan O'Neal, former Citigroup Inc. (NYSE: C) CEO Chuck Prince and former Countrywide Financial Corp. (NYSE: CFC) Angelo Moziilo are due to testify before the U.S. Congress next week about executive pay. No, ladies and gentlemen, I am not making this up.

The poster children of outrageous executive compensation will appear Thursday before the House Committee on Oversight and Reform, which recently delved into the touchy issue of whether Roger Clemens had performance-enhancing drugs injected into his rear end. The three should have plenty to talk about as CNN/Money.com notes.

Upon his departure from Citigroup in November, Prince left with approximately $68 million, while O'Neal collected about $161 million after he stepped down in October.

Countrywide's Mozilo reportedly stood to collect a windfall of $115 million dollars after his firm agreed in January to a yet-to-be completed $4 billion sale to Bank of America. But after facing heavy criticism from lawmakers, Mozilo said he would forfeit $37.5 million in payments tied to the deal.

This should be a doozy. Committee Chairman Henry Waxman (D-CA), who has taken on numerous special interest groups including Big Tobacco, will have his hands full as his committee examines the link between executive pay and the mortgage crisis. He better have an extra-large gavel handy because these witnesses didn't think they were accountable to shareholders and sure don't think they need to explain themselves to a bunch of politicians.