Normal tech support phone call: "Press 1 for help with e-mail. Press 2 to have your password reset."

Madoff tech support phone call: "Hello, how can I help you dummy up some trading records today?"

The investigation of Bernie Madoff's fraudulent financial empire is leading to more arrests. Jerome O'Hara and George Perez, both computer programmers employed by the Ponzi schemer, were arrested by the FBI on Friday morning. The charges include conspiracy for falsifying books and records. They are accused of doing the deed for the boss and accepting hush money -- in the form of 25% raises and net bonuses of $60,000 -- to keep the scam afloat.

Allen Stanford gets kicked around, but Bernie Madoff can clearly throw down some serious smack. While the former's being moved from one facility to another because he's lost some ground on the cell block, Madoff just earned himself some props.

The engineer of the largest (known) Ponzi scheme in history apparently got into an argument with another geriatric inmate at the Butner, North Carolina federal prison. Of course, it was over the stock market. Does it really make sense to outmaneuver a guy who never needed to know what the market was doing to deliver double-digit returns?

Well, push came to shove, as they say, with the "attacker" stumbling and looking up at a mean, mean Madoff. He got up and ran off.

Disgraced Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff's (former) Montauk, Long Island home is no longer on the market. A buyer willing to pay more than the $8.75 million asking price has picked up the property, only two weeks after the U.S. Marshals Service listed it for sale.

Anne Lacombe, spokeswoman for the Corcoran Group, a real estate broker involved in the transaction, said the home was under contract for more than asking but did not have information on the exact amount, buyer or closing date, according to the Associated Press.

David Friehling is only the second person to face criminal charges in the Bernard Madoff debacle. He served as Madoff's auditor from 1991 to 2008, though it's hard to say if they'll resume their relationship as cellies. For now, Friehling has only been charged (innocent until proven guilty, and such) with securities fraud, abetting investment adviser fraud and filing false reports with the SEC. On five of the six charges filed, he faces a 20-year maximum.

It's alleged that Friehling didn't conduct "meaningful" audits while in Madoff's employ, despite issuing reports saying that he'd done his job -- which paid close to $15,000 a month (no work for big pay . . . where do I sign up?). In particular, he's said to have not bothered to verify Madoff's business assets, revenue sources or bank accounts. This is no-brainer stuff for an auditor.

Money manager Bernard Madoff had a trading strategy that was so awesomely complex that no one understood it. Well, it turns out that was a lie too.

Media reports say that the alleged mastermind of a $50 billion Ponzii scheme may have never traded any securities at all. The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority has no evidence of Madoff's investment fund executing trades through his brokerage operation, the Associated Press said. Fidelity Investments, listed among many trades included in statements sent to customers, says Madoff is not a client, the AP said.

There are many lessons to be learned from the Madoff scandal.

First, don't invest in something you do not understand.

Many Madoff customers were either afraid or unwilling to ask what was going on with their accounts. The Boston Globe, which broke this story, said the firm's "statements were often so complicated that investors had to call representatives of the firm for explanations."

People can understand if a money manager loses money by making some bad bets on the market. They may not like it much but they know that investments will lose their value. But Madoff never even tried to make money for his clients. He was only interested in lining his own pockets.

How Madoff could sleep nights knowing that he had swindled everyone from billionaires to charities to small union pension funds is beyond me.