A New Hampshire couple have taken refuge in their home as an income tax 'protest.' After reading Zac Bissonnette's take, I just couldn't leave this story alone. Here's my response:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Anarchy,

Pardon me for interrupting your solitude but it appears to me that you may have made a grave error. I'm expecting that you'll be able to read this unless your Internet connection has been severed from the federally protected communication streams. At this time I must ask you if you have ever read the American Constitution. Unless I'm mistaken, Congress empowered the government to collect income tax quite some time ago.

I'm hoping that you have surrendered your vehicles by now. Being that you have no use for federally subsidized roads, I suspect that you plan to walk for the rest of your lives. Please be sure that you take your gas masks along on your walks because the EPA has indicated that it is no longer willing to assure that you have clean air to breathe. When you get home from walking you may wish to consider twice if you'll have a drink of water due to the fact that you have implied that safe water standards no longer apply to you. The government of the United States shall honor your desire to be unprotected in the matters of breathing and hydration.

In advance of your starvation, I'd like to thank you for surrendering all the food you have, with the exception of those things which are not USDA inspected. I apologize that you have little left to eat but the USDA has indicated that it is no longer interested in protecting your digestion. Additionally, every inspector of every product at every port, air terminal and border crossing has made it clear that they will no longer work for you. It is a shame that you shall soon be naked, diseased and starved to death but all federal services rendered in your name have been suspended as you requested.

Please inform us as soon as possible where it is that you shall be moving to. We, as a nation have no desire to force you to remain within our borders. It is possible that some territory remains near the Arctic Circle where you may reside untaxed for the remainder of your lives. We suggest that you go there as soon as possible. Please do be careful as you walk naked, hungry and without personal security. We would hate for some nasty international criminal to make prey of you. Rest assured that there is a large pool of payroll tax paying individuals who will be more than happy to cast lots for your home. Now, please make a hasty exit you deadbeats. We honestly don't want to keep you here.

Best Regards,

Gary E. Sattler