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Investing haikus: pearls of wisdom

The A-Train finance blog recently posted a set of some pretty impressive financial haikus. Some of them contain wonderful financial wisdom in the 5-7-5 syllable format. Take a look:

Day Trading Is Hard
Ninety Percent Lose Money
Most Try Anyway

Reality Is
What Goes Up Always Comes Down
See: Dot Com Bubble

Compounding Interest
One Of Life's Greatest Forces
Start Young It's Better

Tragically I'm not much of a poet, so I won't try to top this haiku-master. For a wonderful subprime-inspired riff on subprime, check out one trader's Dr. Seuss-inspired Broker Joe! I do not like your CDO.

There's also an interview from Wharton about poetry and its similarities with investment banking. Not quite sure I follow, but hey.


In honor of the pirate CEO

With snickers and a wink and nod they gave that man first chair.
They set him in it like a king, "We hope you like it there."

A million two per quarter pay, perhaps a million eight.
"He's worth the price", they grinned and laughed. "We know he'll pull his weight."

In three short years he wrecked the place and drove it to the ground.
Those jobs were lost, no R&D, no market share was found.

Shareholders screamed, "Just can the rat! We've had all we can take!"
They failed to see the crony game and credentials that were fake.

So Congress said, "We'll check this out, and try to quell the noise."
All the while they smugly smirked, "We got yer back, my boys."

So when the shares did plummet fast, and plummet oh they did,
the board room finally acquiesced and let go of the kid.

His last bold move was to dig deep and grab a hundred million.
If he could have gotten 'way with it, he'd have taken half a billion.

The same old song, the same old dance,
the same pony and pup.

Excuse me please 'cause I must go drop coins in Wall Street's cup.

2008 G.E. Sattler

The market in rhyme

Poetry slamThe market keeps falling, they say, because of sub-prime,
But don't worry, keep buying, what was worth a dollar is now worth just a dime;
People with no money to pay, getting a mortgage is no crime,
"Be patient," we tell our nervous clients, your time horizon is for a long-time.

It's Greenspan's fault, the experts say,
No, says Cramer, it's Bernanke's fault all the way;
With no sub-prime exposure, everyone says Large Tech is the magic play,
"Be patient," we tell our nervous clients, don't look at your portfolio each day.

My screen is all red from stocks across the land,
The phones keep ringing, noise like a marching band;
Just give me some suntan lotion and I'll lie in the sand,
"Be patient," we tell our nervous clients, at least you're diversified and own some South African Rand.

A bounce is due, it's in sight,
Dow-theory sell signals you will live in fright;
How many more articles do we need to read about selling in hindsight,
"Be patient," we tell our nervous clients, at the end of the tunnel there is sure to be light.

"So, what should we do" is what I hear,
With hedge fund selling we are all overcome with fear;
Abby Joseph says forget about losses we are in the clear,
"Be patient," we tell our nervous clients, the holidays are coming, with Rudolph and his red-nosed reindeer.

Bargains abound the analysts tell us,
For those who listened, it was like they were run over by a bus;
With severance worth millions Prince and O'Neill ask,"why all the fuss",
"Be patient," we tell our nervous clients, you can always take a second job and be a bit industrious.

Aaron Katsman is the lead Portfolio Manager and Managing Director of America Israel Investment Associates, LLC. and Senior Editor of IsraelNewsletter.com.

Symbol Lookup
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DJIA+20.0310,246.97
NASDAQ-2.982,151.08
S&P 500-0.071,093.01

Last updated: November 11, 2009: 12:39 AM

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