The rumor mill announced yesterday that Playboy Enterprises (NYSE: PLA) is going to suck it up, pull out, and move its entire operation to its home port of Chicago. According to a blurb in The New York Post, "Playboy is combining its Web site and magazine staff into one editorial organization." Evidently, the company is feeling the squeeze from 1.5 million free internet porn sites, give or take several million.

In the matter of nudity as entertainment, has the adage "sex sells" been supplanted by the new phase of "sex is free for the taking?" In the world of high gloss paper media, such would seem to be the case. So, what is a gnarly old, skin peddling millionaire to do? Whatever shall become of our most familiar white bunny head?

Hugh Hefner is still smiling, and it seems obvious that he still has some faith in his production staff. However, getting a continuing rise out of the public, and getting them to continue opening their wallets, is quite another matter. The company is doing fairly well in it's non-media operations, but in the world of cheesecake, it looks pretty much all down hill.

I'm guessing that in the halls of Playboy there have been some extremely hot and sweaty brain storming sessions going on. There is one thing in this situation that I'm almost absolutely certain of: If the gang at Playboy Enterprises can't continue to do something to stimulate some growth, we're sure to see some serious bunny fur fly.

"SEXY." The capital letters blared at me from the window of Victoria's Secret in Pioneer Place here in Portland. Next to the clean lovely windows of the Apple store, I felt I almost had to shield my eyes, to protect me from the glare. The mannequin dressed in a red bustier seemed more Elvira than Rebecca Romijn, the sweet face of Victoria's Secret when I was a loyal customer in my early 20s.

I'm not the only one turned off by the company's recent focus on sexy above all else. In rather shocking statements during this morning's Limited Brands Inc. (NYSE: LTD) analyst call, Victoria's Secret CEO Sharen Turney said the company has "gotten too much off our heritage" and was "too sexy," no longer the ideal "ultra-feminine."

With black lacquer and shocking pink decor, the "s" word thrown around like neon signs in a red-light district, and rather unsubtle displays, this isn't my mother's Victoria's Secret.

If you're a woman of a certain age (that age at which you decide you never wish to pose for Playboy), you may be at the altar of All That Is Good and True praying that Kyla Ebbert's 15 minutes of fame would be up already!

If you're anyone else, you're probably clicking over to Playboy.com right now to see her sexy lingerie-clad shots (there's also a video of Kyla wearing nothing but a barely-long-enough cowl-neck shirt walking down a hotel hallway). You are probably thinking one of two things: (1) this is the first time that terrible fashion sense actually paid; or (2) Southwest Airlines (NYSE: LUV) is very, very smart.

This is the first time I can remember that some awful PR for an airline ended up paying off for both the airline and the wronged passenger, prolonging not only Kyla Ebbert's 15 minutes but also Southwest's own.

When Ebbert first was escorted off a Southwest plane for her skimpy attire (and, after begging and adjusting her tank top and skirt, allowed back on), she said she was humiliated. It was a few months later before she decided to tell someone about it; probably urged by her boyfriend, hoping to go from ordinary schlep to Boyfriend of Playboy Model. Suddenly: everyone was buzzing. It looked bad for Southwest -- very bad.

But like the Teflon Don of airlines, Southwest bounced back, apologizing to Kyla and offering a skimpy fare sale in her honor. Southwest did not get her permission to use her name in its advertising. It did not affect Southwest's prospects in the slightest.

Now Southwest is memorialized as the launchpad for the fake-blonde-who-could turn 15 minutes into too long; and it's not lost a bit of its edgy, sexy cache. Bravo, Southwest, for turning mud into smutty gold.

In the battle of the fast food restaurants, it's hardly ever about taste or service or quality: it's all about perception (and as my former car salesman boss says, perception is reality). So when I saw the news this week about how CKE Restaurants (NYSE: CKR) restaurants, Hardee's and Carl's Jr., have agreed to start purchasing a very small percentage of their pork and eggs from cage-free animals, I was wowed at the headlines. "Cage-free eggs!" an email from a colleague read.



Why is this the funnest news all month? Because of the very famous pin-up girls involved in the dispute. Paris Hilton is, after all, famous for her extremely sexy Carl's Jr. ads (I'd venture to say they are the pinnacle of her sordid career). Alicia Silverstone has made headlines with her racy PETA ads that were pulled off the air thanks to their nearly-naked nature. So in the cage match between Paris Hilton and Alicia Silverstone, I could have called it: smart Alicia whooped Paris' lingerie-clad booty with a (slightly happier) hen.

Britney Spears, it turns out, won't be posing for Playboy -- she's reconsidering the idea with her rather imperfect post-baby body, and according to the National Ledger, she's now only worth $400,000 to Hugh Hefner. She won't take less than seven figures (note she was offered $2 million several years ago). Even with her clothes on, however, everyone's favorite has-been is still making cash over the barrelhead.

Nope, it won't go into her kids' college fund; she's not making the money. Time Warner Inc. (NYSE: TWX), News Corp. (NYSE: NWS), Yahoo! Inc. (NASDAQ: YHOO), and just about every company that covers the entertainment industry is making money just for the idea. It may have been a mistake for Vanessa Hudgens to let a nude photo of herself bounce around the internet, but it's hardly a blow to Walt Disney Co. (NYSE: DIS), for whom she stars in movie after movie after teen musical movie. In fact, she's the biggest search term on the internet today.

It's not about sex or nudity or retouched photos: it's about Googling for them. Your two- and three-word search phrases (even the misspelled ones) may not take you to NSFW web sites. But they're working overtime for the companies who serve up the content. If you're reading this post right now? You're making money for Time Warner, just looking at those ads. The amazing fact about media: sex sells, even when no one's having any.